


when the evening reaches here you're tying me, up i'm dying of love, it's okay

by captainkit



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bottom Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Canon Era, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, POV Alternating, Pining, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:42:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29404281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainkit/pseuds/captainkit
Summary: “Oh- Sykkuno.”Sykkuno turned. The suddenness hadn’t given him time to prepare his mask and his face was nakedly wanting, hopeful at the sound of Corpse calling out his name. They stared at each other and Corpse watched despondently as the mask settled in on Sykkuno’s pretty face, turning it to wax.“Did you want something?”𝙔𝙤𝙪. Corpse swallowed. “No. I think I’m good.”
Relationships: Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 130
Kudos: 633





	when the evening reaches here you're tying me, up i'm dying of love, it's okay

**Author's Note:**

> “Yeah” said Corpse and he sounded relieved. “Best friends.” As if he expected Sykkuno to be difficult. Maybe I should be he thought numbly maybe I should tell him that it wasn’t just something physical. 
> 
> But what came out of his mouth stupidly was “It- it was good yeah?”
> 
> Corpse exhaled. “Yes. Of course Sykkuno. Anyone would be lucky to have you."
> 
> (TW FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, BLOOD AND CAR CRASHES MENTIONED)

☠ 

_> hey Sykkuno  
> this is Corpse _

🌿

_o hi Corpse! :D <  
ggs today <_

☠ 

_> yeah :)  
> would love to play with you again _

🌿

_me too :) <_

●●●

Corpse studied his phone, contemplative. The kettle near him was shaking, a clattering thing that took way too long to heat up, about to blow the whistle.

It had been a few hours since the last game, the adrenaline of being perceived still running through him as he scrolled through his notifications.

One of them kept popping up on his feed. It was from an old VOD, from an old Among Us game with Edison and Sykkuno.

_Sykkuno was blushing, as Edison’s voice filtered through their Discord call. “Sykkuno if girls aren’t into you, then I know a lot of guys who are-“_

_His own voice cut them all off. “Y-yeah I know a couple.”_

Some of the clips had Sykkuno blushing, giggling, saying _“did Corpse say that?!”_ Corpse watched those a few times on repeat, watched the way Sykkuno’s eyes crinkled into crescents as his hand covered his mouth.

He sighed and opened his Discord and sent the link to Sykkuno.

☠ 

> _look what I found_

He didn’t even know what he was going to follow up with. He didn’t even have any guys lined up to date Sykkuno- _unless he counted himself-_ but he was straight-

🌿

 _oh hey Corps <_  
_heard you know some guys into me_ <  
_LOL <_

Corpse felt himself smile at that. How wonderfully Sykkuno to get to the point and immediately backtrack. He snorted quietly at the lol thrown into the text, an oddly adorable dated reference.

☠ 

> _uh yeah, about that_

🌿

_oh it’s okay Corpse LOL I dint  
expect you to have anyone really <  
I’m pretty sure Edison was memeing <_

☠ 

> _I wasn’t tho  
> Seriously Sykkuno  
> you’re a good looking guy  
> I’m sure girls and guys are into you :)_

🌿

_thx Corpse :D <  
I don’t know about that though <_

☠ 

_> I disagree  
I think you don’t know how to put  
> yourself out there _

🌿

_… <  
I’ve heard that one b4 <  
Lily always says that to me :0 <_

☠ 

_> Have you tried any dating apps?  
  
_

🌿

_not since college really <  
plus there’s a pandemic <  
i don’t know if you’ve noticed <_

Corpse laughed quietly, draining the last dregs of his tea from the kettle.

☠ 

_> a lot of people are moving around now lmao  
> but I really do think  
> if you put a banger pic of yourself on a dating site  
> you’d get a lot of girls _

🌿

_what about guys? <_

Corpse blinked. This suddenly got way too interesting.

☠ 

_> guys too :)  
> you’re really good attractive! _

🌿

_Did that weird you out? <_

☠ 

> _you can be into whatever you wanna  
> be into Sykkuno  
> no judgement_

🌿

_thanks Corpse :D <  
it’s just something I’ve been feeling :0 <  
I guess this is my first time being attracted to men <_

Milk went in the cup first, thought Corpse vaguely, his head full of thoughts. Milk first, then the tea, then the sugar-

☠ 

_> well they’re really lucky whoever they are  
> :)  
> is it just a physical thing or are you like  
> do you have a craush _

🌿

_I’m glad you think so :D <  
your opinion means a lot to me ^-^ <  
uh idk, I guess its mostly physical for now <  
because um <  
that’s never happened before? <  
well nothing has happened before, I’ve only been in 1 relationship <  
and it was online <  
so I don’t know how anything works physically <  
but yeah it’s physical for now, but I really like them too <_

Corpse hissed as the hot tea overflowed from the cup onto his hand. Setting the kettle aside entirely, he crossed his legs up under himself, staring at the message thread. Something strange was bubbling in his stomach, something like curiosity and something that felt uncomfortably like envy.

Who was it, he wondered vaguely, who was it that got under Sykkuno’s skin that he was now messaging Corpse about it of all the people? It was hard to imagine Sykkuno liking anyone, let alone Sykkuno in a relationship. He tried picturing Sykkuno’s hands, long fingered and elegant, and yet somehow surprisingly small; and he wondered what it would look like wrapped up in another hand- a manlier hand, stocky and veiny-

Scowling at himself for inserting himself into Sykkuno’s love story, he picked up the phone again.

☠

_> of course they like you, Sykkuno  
> you’re adorable :)  
also yeah, physical attraction is a good way to see if you’re  
> into someone _

🌿

_y you think so? <  
:O <_

☠

_> absolutely <3  
> I’m glad you told me this  
  
_

🌿

_heh you are? <  
is htat a nice way of saying <  
“stop bothering me Sykkuno, I’m busy” < _

☠

> _LMAO  
> no hahaha  
> I mean it  
> if you ever need anything, ever, I’m here for you_

Satisfied with his response, deeming it approachable and supportive, Corpse set down his phone. His wrist still stung with the heat of the tea he accidentally spilled over himself and he tried to pay attention to it instead of his conflicted emotions. He ignored the pit in his stomach, aching with curiosity and something he refused to label as envy as he lifted his cup and took a mouthful of scalding tea.

Cursing, he spat out the tea, gasping weakly as his tongue scalded inside his mouth. The scald sores swelled in his mouth insidiously, his tongue, gums and lips screaming in pain.

It hurt more that he could still feel the growing chasm of envy swirling in his gut, as potent as the burn in his mouth.

●●●

Sykkuno swung his legs absentmindedly as he sat on the edge of his bed.

Corpse’s texts were almost branded in the inside of his eyes, he could see them everytime he blinked.

_“You’re adorable. They’re lucky whoever they are. You’re a good looking guy.”_

_“If you need any help, I’m here for you.”_

He exhaled, frustrated.

It was hard enough when he had his attraction limited to women. Most interactions with other people were alarmingly confusing, people found him charming and then hit dead ends with him when they realised he wasn’t extraordinary. People who thought he put up a face, people who just weren’t into him the way he was.

The fabric of his socks made a soothing sound as he scratched his nails up and down them. It reminded him of Bimbus, who’d stand on his little feet and scratch at the fabric of Sykkuno’s pants and socks.

_I wonder if Corpse likes dogs._

It was a new thing, being attracted to men- being attracted to Corpse. His type remained the same throughout the board, he noted wryly, edgy people who probably had a history with Hot Topic with hearts of gold. It was never quite so bad though. Corpse occupied most of his daily thoughts in a way that was so non-invasive.

_I wonder if Corpse has houseplants._

_I wonder if Corpse ate dinner today, and I wonder what he ate._

_I wonder if he’s okay and he’s taking care of himself._

It wasn’t unusual for him to care, he got like this with virtually every friend he acquired. Lily still accused him of mothering him to this date, he still expected her to text him everytime she went out with Michael, as if he could do anything sitting hundreds of miles away in Las Vegas. He still scowled every time Sonii talked to Rae on Rust, still overprotective when Toast got too soft around the edges for the hint of a pretty smile.

But with Corpse it was different, it was headier. Sykkuno didn’t have much experience with being in love or even liking a lot of people but the urge to _know_ Corpse crawled up his throat, choked him like the man’s song implied it would.

He wanted to know what Corpse’s hands would feel like, slotted between his own narrow fingers. Would the rings of his hands be cold, he wondered, or would they be warmed by his body, hard against the soft dips where Sykkuno’s fingers met his palms? How would they feel holding his wrist, strong and firm, or gentle, like Sykkuno was made of porcelain? What about higher up, holding his waist, his jaw, his neck-

He shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts. Frantically ignoring the heat that was now warming his body, he sat up to get himself some water.

The two way window reflected the light that was coming from his kitchen, effectively working as a mirror. The casinos and the traffic lights were cancelled out by the immediate brightness provided by the tube lights that switched on with a dull hum. Sykkuno stared at himself, the heat of his own blush had warmed his cheekbones into a dusty rose colour. He watched his own fingers wrapped around the glass of water, stared at his own eyes, tired from the lack of sleep; the curve of his lips, lonely and aching for more.

 _“if you ever need anything, ever, I’m here for you_ ”

Corpse was probably awake, judging by the fact that it was just a little past 1 am.

 _He should be sleeping, it’s not good for him_ thought his rational brain. A treacherous thought floated with it. _I’d at least get him in bed if I was there, we could sleep together._

He shivered at the thought of it. Corpse’s body warm and firm slotted by his side, his arm and leg protectively thrown over Sykkuno’s waist, holding him close, _spooning._ Sykkuno would lean back into his chest, curling closer into his heat and Corpse’s lips would touch the back of his neck, his ears; his pelvis slotted perfectly against Sykkuno’s ass, almost like a promise-

He watched the blush on his face darker and leaned over to switch off the kitchen light. The kitchen plunged back into darkness, the window now showing the traffic of Las Vegas, the shining lights of casinos far away and if he squinted slightly, just the faintest hint of his silhouette. He stood there, disgusted and wryly amused by his own train of thoughts. Rather bold of him, he thought grimly, rather bold of him to have such a horny train of thoughts when he was yet to have his first adult kiss.

 _“if you ever need anything, ever, I’m here for you_ ”

He didn’t remember reaching the bed, he didn’t remember pulling off his pants, didn’t remember squeezing lube into his hand, sticky and cold. All his focus was on remembering Corpse’s voice, dark, like the rumble of thunder, but so soft, so hopelessly tender when he spoke to Sykkuno. Was it Sykkuno was perceived by him as innocent, a little lamb of a man, just a friend-

-or was it because Sykkuno was innocent; virginal, uncorrupted ( _his fingers tightened around himself and Sykkuno moaned, thumbing the head of his own dick_ ), innocent and a little lamb that Corpse wanted to take under his wing, and teach himself. Sykkuno’s wrist flexed, his head tipping back as he imagined Corpse’s soft words filtering in his ear, telling him what to do, _how_ to do it. Sykkuno was willing, eager to make Corpse feel just as good- feel just as _much_ as Corpse made him feel and the rush of Corpse teaching Sykkuno how to make him feel good overpowered Sykkuno with another gut-wrenching curl of need- ( _his fingers slipped lower, brushing against the rim just gently, imagining something else_ )-

Corpse’s long fingers carding through his hair, tugging it slightly, manoeuvring his head in a way that made Corpse moan with pleasure. Corpse’s body firm against the line of his back, pushing him down, his fingers strong and unyielding against Sykkuno’s wrists. Corpse’s lips, against his, pressed against the column of his throat, his chest; little bursts of laughter escaping them as he watched Sykkuno, desperate and needy for him (the finger pressed in to the rim, just enough, _not enough, Corpse would be so much more)_ -

His orgasm was a shivery, overstimulating experience and he exhaled, slumping back into his pillows. Without the electrifying curl of need and want in his stomach, the reality of his situation hit him like a ton of bricks.

_Corpse is straight, Corpse is not into you. Corpse will never be here with you._

And yet, he thought miserably, wiping his abdomen and fingers with his discarded shirt, Corpse’s Discord message remained branded in his retinas.

_“if you ever need anything, ever, I’m here for you”_

_You_ thought Sykkuno, as his sleep engulfed his self-pity session, wonderfully numbing, like waves crashing over the shore. _I need you._

●●●

☠

_> did you eat anything?_

🌿

_heating up some pad thai rn :D <  
my sister made me an Americano <_

☠

_> do you like those?_

🌿

_yea they’re nice :D <  
too much sugar / caff makes me <  
uk, hyper? <  
>_< <_

☠

_> ~~I could help you burn it off~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> wyd to get less >_<_

🌿

_my grandma has a pool <  
so if I’m there, I usually go swimming :D <  
otherwise I just like to bike around <  
gyms scare me ngl <  
my bike is still in LA tho, I need to get it here < _

☠

_> that’s p cool_

🌿

_maybe we could get a coffee when you come to Vegas?_

☠

_> I cannot drink coffee  
> but I could come w you ig  
> :)_

🌿

_or <  
u like boba right <_

☠

_> smartkkuno  
> it’s a date :)_

🌿

_:D !!!! <  
poggers < _

●●●

Corpse blinked at the unexpected text.

🌿

_hey Corpse <  
are you busy? <_

They were playing 8 ball and Corpse tried not to think about how he deliberately lost a few games just to get a little _:D_ text from Sykkuno in return. It was stupid, it was the peak of simping but Corpse lived in the reassurance that with Sykkuno’s terrible Twitter update history, it would be their little secret.

It was _nice_ knowing Sykkuno. The little exchange they had seemed to loosen up Sykkuno and Corpse felt glad having him so close, even if sometimes he felt his heart skip when Sykkuno smiled, and averted his eyes away from the camera shyly when they called. Sykkuno was much more candid, much softer around the edges in a way that felt tangible rather than the smoke and mirrors game he played on stream.

🌿

_I mean, not BUSY busy <  
LOL <  
we’re literally playing 8ball rn XD <_

☠

> _I’m never too busy for you ;)  
> wassup _

🌿  
_I was thinking about what you said <  
I think im gonna <  
uh <  
put myself out there? lol < _

Corpse blinked.

☠

> _yeah?  
> how’s that going btw?  
> have you gotten anywhere with it yet?_

🌿

_um <  
not really i guess <  
I do try to put out signals <  
but u know <  
people aren’t into me… <_

☠

> _I don’t believe that for a second_

He typed out a _I’m into you_ but backspaced it quickly. No need to get too candid with Sykkuno when he could piece together Sykkuno’s enigma and his even more enigmatic crush by himself.

🌿

_o oh? <  
thanks Corpse! <_

☠

> _u were saying?_

🌿

_o yeah lol <  
um <  
you said some stuff about photos <  
I actually don’t know how to take any photos? <_

☠

_> I’m sure you look fucking gorgeous  
> take some for me, I’ll judge them_

Corpse winced as he sent it. It sounded too demanding, almost like Corpse was the audience for Sykkuno’s secret thirst trap.

🌿

_CORPSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO <  
do I take a selfie <  
suggest me some poses or something OvO <_

Corpse laughed, Sykkuno’s desperation was adorable and sort of aggravating. He hoped whoever was trying to subliminally attract knew what a fucking gem they had landed.

☠

_> take a mirror selfie ig _

He drummed his fingers against the sofa cushion, strangely nervous. It was Sykkuno, he had seen Sykkuno but was he ready to see Sykkuno _trying_ to be attractive?

The Discord beep was simultaneously terrifying and exciting. Corpse hadn’t felt so many emotions since he put out a new song.

The picture was simple, Sykkuno was wearing a long sleeved blue shirt and skinny jeans. His legs seemed to go on forever, noted Corpse and he smacked himself for thinking about Sykkuno’s legs at all. His face was covered by the bright glare of the flash.

☠

_> are you trying to be faceless too?_

He paused for a second, reckless-

☠

_> nice legs btw_

He felt stupid and like some sort of collegiate fuckboy trying to hit up the cute nerd.

 _Sykkuno has a statistics/math double major_ thought his stupid horny brain, too dumb to function after seeing one pair of nice legs. _He was absolutely the cute nerd._

🌿

_LMAO <  
no no, I’m not trying to be faceless <  
I’ll leave that to you XD <  
was this okay though? <_

Corpse glanced back at the photo. Sykkuno was undoubtedly adorable, even when his face was invisible. The slender bones of his wrist peeked out of his sleeves, oddly enticing. Corpse wondered what they’d feel like in his hands, narrow and small as Corpse-

☠

_> it’s a cute photo :)_

🌿

_o god you sound like my music teacher when I was small <  
there is a criticism here somewhere right <  
  
_

☠

_> why the fuck was your music teacher calling a minor cute  
> or your photos cute  
> that’s jailtime for them_

🌿

_LMAO it was my grandma’s friend <  
also stop changing the topic! <  
something is not good about it? <  
I mean <  
apart from me ig I can’t really do anything about that now <  
  
_

☠

_> it’s cute!  
> just  
> are you feeling yourself in that outfit?  
> also im not letting your grandma’s friend off the hook_

🌿

_kekw :3 <  
also um <  
no idk, i guess not <  
it was just what I was wearing <  
haven’t really changed <_

☠

_> do you have anything you feel sexy in?  
> wow Sykkuno the things I do for you _

🌿

_!!!! <  
I should stop bothering you :0 <_

Corpse slapped himself mentally. His unexpected moment of heterosexuality probably set him back lightyears with Sykkuno.

☠

_> answer the damn question, Sy_

🌿

_maybe next time :3 <  
what would you be into? <  
hypothetically? <_

☠

_> uh ig I like being in control  
> considering I’m spiralling everywhere else  
> as for fits  
> fishnets lol _

🌿

_huh <_

☠

_> what the fuck  
> no way do you own fishnets  
> holy shit _

🌿

_:3 <  
no I don’t <  
I do own a lot of thigh highs though <_

_My pants are tight_ thought Corpse vaguely, looking at his own fingers trembling against the screen, but he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. He scrolled up to stare at the photo Sykkuno sent, and his dick lurched in its confines at the thought of those coltish legs in _thigh highs, Sykkuno in thigh highs-_

☠

_> pics or it didn’t happen_

🌿

_oh I don’t wanna bother you <  
you’ve already helped me so much <  
goodnight Corpse <3 <_

☠

_> tease  
> you fucking tease_

🌿

_:3 <_

Corpse felt himself growl, throwing the phone aside onto his armchair. Shame and arousal curled in his chest as he thought of Sykkuno; precious beautiful Sykkuno wearing thigh highs. Corpse was teeming with the desire to probe for answers, questions pouring out of his exhausted brain like termites in old wood.

What material were they, he wondered, hissing at the coldness of lube against his dick. Did Sykkuno wear them made of stable, sturdy cable knit wool; just for practical reasons? To keep himself warm against the winters? Or were they more enticing-

_(his fingers squeezed around the head of his dick, twisting it)_

-more enticing, made of lace, with little bows and Corpse gasped at the dual sensation of his hand and the imagery of Sykkuno, dark eyed and blushing hotly, his small feet crossed at the ankles, the sheer material of them just providing a translucent filter over the pale long lines of his calves and thighs, as some faceless man went weak at the knees for his beauty.

The heat in his belly warmed, hot and burning him from inside out, imagining Sykkuno like that for _him._ Sykkuno blushing under his hands and Corpse tracing it with his mouth, seeing how far and how low it went-

_(close, he was so close, his wrist almost hurt with how fast he was going)_

-Sykkuno’s beautiful voice, cracking on his name, the achingly sweet way he said _“Corpse!”_ as if it wasn’t literally a cruder word for a cadaver; his pretty hands curling up on Corpse’s shoulders as Corpse pinned him against the bed, his slender ankles crossed over Corpse’s neck as Corpse _fucked-_

He exhaled heavily, hitting his head against the hard edge of the sofa as he backed into it too quickly. Absently, he wiped his hand on his shirt before pulling it off entirely and throwing it somewhere in the corner of the hall. The image he had created for himself was his own Achilles heel, he didn’t know how he was going to ever look at Sykkuno without going feral, and without the strange sense of possessiveness he was in no means entitled to.

He leaned over to pick his phone back up, staring at the photo Sykkuno sent. Little minx that he was, he still was online, the green dot of his contact goading Corpse. Corpse zoomed into the flash, trying to gauge Sykkuno’s face from whatever limited pixels he had, but apart from the faintest hint of a smile, he couldn’t figure out anything.

Scowling, he threw his phone back to the armchair and hoped to god that Sykkuno’s mystery not-boyfriend knew the angst he inspired in Corpse’s aching chest.

●●●

☠

_> tell me about your crush_

🌿

_:0 <  
he's the coolest person I know <  
i kinda <  
don't know a lot about him <  
we've played a few games <  
im always too scaerd to ask him anything!!!!! <_

☠

_> bet he doesn't know a lot about you too tho_

🌿

_no way haha <  
i'm an open book <_

☠

_> you're an open book and the words are written in code _

🌿

_:O <  
is that a good t thing?? <_

☠

_> of course its a good thing.  
> it's a thing about you :3_

🌿

_OH JESUS you re very smooth x_x <  
but thank u Corpse! <  
you're the coolest person I know <3 <_

☠

_> :)   
_

●●●

Sykkuno’s heart was hammering out of his chest.

☠

_> is he someone I know?_

He wasn’t doing anything, he was simply scouring websites for interesting pieces of home décor- maybe a bookshelf, maybe some rare plants. His peace lily was overtaking his dining table and no matter how much Lily or Toast laughed at him, he loved the monstrous thing for how it made his space home almost immediately, the dark green waxy leaves in stark contrast to the luminescent white flowers.

Corpse had messaged him about his attempts and Sykkuno accidentally blurted out how much he enjoyed playing with the mystery crush. Sykkuno sat there, unequipped after throwing himself to the wolves.

🌿

_why do you ask? <_

They’d been texting for a few weeks already, almost a month and a half and Sykkuno felt himself getting drawn deeper and deeper into the magnetic chasm that was Corpse’s personality, finding himself cracking stupid quips and jokes just to make the younger laugh. He tried to squash down the hope that rose in him everytime it landed, tried not to focus on how much Corpse did laugh at the worst of his jokes too.

No one knew yet, he hoped at least, no one except Lily, but Lily was an extension of himself at this point, telling Lily things felt natural and Lily had never betrayed him before. Rae and Toast probably suspected, he wasn’t exactly subtle about his reactions around Corpse, but in his defense, neither was Corpse. Corpse, who took full advantage of proximity chat to corner Sykkuno into situations to talk about fishnets, to talk about anime, to talk about them being in an anime together-  
☠

_> so it is someone I know  
> or  
> is it me? :P  
> i mean i AM the coolest person you know, see_

Sykkuno inhaled. The air seemed to choke up somewhere in his chest, heavy, like lead, struggling to come back out. Forcibly flexing his stomach, he choked the air back out, trying to breathe. The stupid smiley Corpse put in there just made Sykkuno more anxious, more like he was chasing a pipedream. It felt like high school again, when a girl with large shining eyes asked for his number Sykkuno had felt a curl of warm hope spark in his chest before her friends crowed loudly with laughter. He’d ignored it before within a few hours he started getting strange, obscene calls and realised the girl had taken his number and put it inside a bathroom to call. Her eyes were cruelly amused as she rolled them to apologise, but the tone of it made Sykkuno feel more like he should’ve apologised for causing a scene about it at all. The curl of hope felt like a tendril of dying incense smoke, fading and fleeting, stamped out of his body as fast as it came.

Sykkuno didn’t even know who the girl was, but he knew when he saw the (faux) hope in her eyes that he could grow to like her, he could grow to _love_ her; but the cruel spark of amusement in her eyes, like she knew that she had played Sykkuno like a fiddle caused his heart to shrivel up. In biology, he had learned that the intestine wound around itself and crimped to fit itself in the confines of his abdomen while still maintaining its surface area. He wondered if his heart was trying to do something similar, curl up and shrivel into itself to avoid getting hurt while still being too large for his chest.

🌿

_would you be mad if it was you? <_

When Sykkuno was younger, his parents pushed him to study hard, to do well in class. He listened, because he didn’t really have it in him to rebel and he had no cause to rebel and Sykkuno always wondered what he was supposed to do with all the ornamentation he had. It was for now, thought Sykkuno, his gut churning with his own alarmingly brave text, it was so that he could run away from the disaster he had created and find a stable 9-5 job, away from Corpse so that the younger would never have to look at him in the eyes and question the depravity of Sykkuno taking advantage of his friendship-

-Corpse was calling him.

Sykkuno dropped the phone and scooted backwards in the chair, as if it was alive and as if proximity from his phone was going to help him from his own stupid bravado. Wondering if tech companies hired even if Sykkuno had a gap of 2 years in his resume, Sykkuno slowly slid his thumb across the answer button.

“So” said Corpse, and his voice was quiet, almost amused. “It’s me, huh.”

Sykkuno bit back a sob. “Please don’t make fun of me” he whispered and he wished he could sound strong, he wished he was someone else, anyone else. Rae would’ve probably answered him back flirtatiously, her pretty eyes sparkling as she bit back a smile; Toast would’ve probably outsmarted Corpse into falling in love with him. Michael would’ve offered to taze him and a broken laugh escaped him at the thought of that.

“Oh no, ba- Sykkuno, I’m not making fun of you” came the soft reply. Corpse sounded like the tide hitting the rocks, soothing and terrifying and every instinct in Sykkuno’s bones wanted to start running, run far away from this perceived danger. “Are you crying?”

Sykkuno numbly wiped his wet cheeks with the back of his hand.

“No” he replied mutely. He picked up the phone, leaning his forehead against the cool glass of it. “Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad?” Corpse asked and his voice was still playful. It reminded Sykkuno strangely of Bimbus, like when the little dog lay down with his eyes slightly squinted and jumped up to play when Sykkuno would go in to rub his ears. “I’ve been feeling some things too.”

Startled, Sykkuno almost dropped the phone. “Y-you have?”

“Mm” said Corpse and his voice made Sykkuno blush, his head still heavy with tears. “Physical things, you see.”

The taunt made Sykkuno blush harder, dizzy. “O-oh. For me?”

“You’re a little tease, Sykkuno” murmured Corpse and his voice was like sin. The first time they spoke, Rae said Corpse’s voice felt like it was touching her and Sykkuno suddenly realised it in full capacity. Corpse’s voice felt tangible, insidious, crawling up his ribs and burrowing itself somewhere in Sykkuno’s diaphragm, too heavy to process. “Whatever happened to sending me those photos of you in thigh highs?”

“I didn’t take them yet” said Sykkuno faintly. The room seemed to be spinning around him, and Sykkuno could barely process any of it. “Do you- should I take them for you?”

Corpse’s voice suddenly changed from the sinfully low tone to the familiar, soft, gentle tone and Sykkuno’s chest ached with the duality. “Do you want to, Sykkuno? We can forget about this entirely if you want.”

“No” said Sykkuno, desperate, urgent. His anxiety to be good for Corpse was overridden by the thought of having Corpse so close and then losing him from between his fingers. “I want this.”

“You’re so good for me” praised Corpse and Sykkuno tipped his head back and _moaned_ , terrified and exhilarated. “Fuck Sykkuno, you sound so good.”

“What do you want?”

“You tell me” replied Corpse, and he was smiling. “What do _you_ want?”

“You” whispered Sykkuno and the word hung in the air, like a promise for something, and that something was bubbling in his chest. He cleared his throat. “I thought you liked being in control?”

Corpse made a dark, almost terrifying sound. He didn’t know why he said that, it almost came out of him like an instinctual response. Sykkuno felt himself whimper in response. His body recognised the threat of provoking Corpse and his stupid, lust clouded brain ached for the consequences.

“Fuck” said Corpse, and Sykkuno wanted to hear him swear forever. “Fuck yeah, of course I wanna see you in thigh highs, Sykkuno.”

Sykkuno scrambled to his feet. The sound of his bare feet against the hardwood made a sound and Corpse laughed, unexpectedly.

“Careful, Sykkuno, I don’t want you to hurt yourself” chuckled Corpse, and an amused hum escaped him. “Or at least, I’d want to be involved in that.”

He flushed darkly at the thought of that. Corpse's beautiful hands on him, making him feel good, maybe even feel _pain-_

“My hands are shaking” said Sykkuno, and it was true, his fingers were clammy and trembling. “I can’t take a photo right now.” He swallowed against the lump in his throat.

“That’s alright” murmured Corpse, and his voice was lovely, soothing and still strangely possessive. “But I still want to see it, so send me a photo when you can send it to me, alright?”

The instruction made Sykkuno’s blood run hot as he nodded dumbly, foolish with lust and anxiety.

“I need you to give me a yes or no, Sykkuno.”

“Yes” he mumbled, falling back onto the bed, his eyes welling up again. He was painfully hard, stupidly enamoured by Corpse’s voice. “Yes, anything you want Corpse.”

Corpse laughed again. “That’s too much power to give me Sykkuno.”

“I trust you” said Sykkuno, breathless. He ground up against his palm, the friction of his pants rough against the sensitive skin of his cock but it felt so good that he moaned, high pitched and reedy.

“Fuck” whispered Corpse, and his voice dropped down even lower and Sykkuno wanted to feel it coming from his chest, the warm words accompanied with the feeling of warm skin pressed up against it. “You’re touching yourself right now?”

“Y-yeah” choked out Sykkuno. He’d never felt so many things at the same time, Corpse’s voice made him giddy with fear and excitement. “Should I not?”

“Mm, that’s a good idea, isn’t it?” asked Corpse, cruelly amused. “Work with me here, Sykkuno, I’m glad you’re having fun but what about me, hm?”

“What do you want me to do?”

He could hear Corpse’s fingers drumming on the desk. “Can you be patient for me? I want you to send me those photos first, I want to see you all dolled up for me. Does that work?”

Sykkuno shivered. The phrase _dolled up for me_ felt like gasoline thrown into the fire that was lighting up his body. Obediently he moved his hand away, clenching the bedsheets in his hands. “Yes. Yes alright Corpse.”

“Good boy” murmured Corpse and Sykkuno whined, baring his neck for an invisible audience. “Listen to you, you sound so gone already.”

“I am” said Sykkuno and he cleared his throat, as if it would bring his voice down an octave, as if he could fool Corpse into thinking he was just as much in control of the situation as Corpse was. “I’ll send you those photos.”

Corpse’s smile was audible. “I’ll be waiting.”

Sykkuno rolled over onto his stomach as the phone beeped, and ground against the bedsheets shamelessly. His vision was blurred with tears as he squirmed. He knew he could touch himself, _how would Corpse ever know_ , but something in his gut churned at the thought of Corpse being disappointed or thinking Sykkuno was being _bad_ -

-bad without consequence at least and another shiver wracked him at the thought of Corpse punishing him-

He rolled off the bed, his feet still shaky and opened his drawers. The movements felt mechanical as held the socks up, familiar and silky, the pastel blue colour matching his mint green sweater. It was slightly oversized on him and with a breathless giggle, he squirmed out of his pants. The silk slid over his calves, cool and smooth and he stared at himself in the mirror- taking in his sweater that hung upto the middle of his thighs; the tiniest sliver of skin so pale it was translucent, the veins bluish and prominent under his skin before the frilly tops of the socks began, accentuating the length of his legs.

He was blushing, he observed vaguely, and a sort of maniac joy was stamped on his features. He sat on the edge of the bed, the way he’d seen his sisters taking photos, sticking one leg out slightly more than the other, pointing his toes. This time, the flash was off, and Sykkuno hid his lips behind the reflection of his own hand, but the blush was prominent as was the slightly glazed look in Sykkuno’s eyes.

🌿

_*attachment: IMG20201203-WA0034.jpeg*_

His knuckles were white with the pressure with which he was holding his phone and he exhaled shakily as the phone began to ring again.

“Fuck” hissed Corpse and Sykkuno laughed breathlessly, falling back onto the bed. The material of his thigh highs rustled the soft negligent hair on his calves, causing him to shudder. “You look…”

“Yeah?” asked Sykkuno, hoping he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt. “Did you- did you like it? Corpse?”

 _Was I good for you, Corpse_ started and died on his tongue with embarrassment and he swallowed it back audibly.

“Fuckin loved it baby” growled Corpse and Sykkuno moaned at the nickname, pressing the heel of his palm against his cock, grinding up against it. “You look so fucking good, Sykkuno, all dressed up like that for me.”

“Only you” said Sykkuno, and he was pleased with how stable and calm his voice sounded, considering most of his blood had migrated south. “Corpse” he said, and his voice finally cracked on that word, needy and longing.

“Fuck, yeah Sykkuno, go ahead, touch yourself” whispered Corpse and Sykkuno moaned again, fingers finally wrapping themselves around his cock. It felt surreal and like he was having an out of body experience, Corpse’s low, dulcet tones curling around his body. “Sound so good for me baby.”

“Are you touching yourself too?” Sykkuno asked, closing his eyes as he pumped his wrist frantically. He’d never felt like this while touching himself, nothing felt so good, so edifying as the Corpse’s voice murmuring filthy praise in his ears.

“Of course I am, have you seen you?” Corpse remarked, and Sykkuno whimpered, heat rising to warm his face. “All gorgeous and pink, all fucking dolled up for me.”

Sykkuno felt himself nodding deliriously. “You Corpse, only for you.”

“Listen to you” cooed Corpse and Sykkuno squirmed at affectionate taunt. “Imagine what you’d be like there, if I was touching you-”

“-oh Jesus, Corpse-“

“- hands under that cute little jumper you have on” Corpse hissed and Sykkuno cried out at how possessive it sounded coming from Corpse. His peak was so close and he could hear himself making pathetic little sobs, trying his hardest to contain them. “Just want my hands all fuckin over you Sykkuno, want to touch you, mark you up as _mine-”_

Sykkuno had never had an orgasm as intense as that before, crying out almost soundlessly as he came. Stars burst behind his eyes that had gone sightless, the room swimming in black. Distinctly, he could feel his cheeks as wet and cold, as was the goop on his chest right now.

“-did so good for me Sykkuno” murmured Corpse. “Come back to earth, baby, are you there?”

Breathless, Sykkuno’s fingers unclenched from around the phone. The sensation was tingly, staticky, and Sykkuno giggled at the thought of bits of paper confetti sticking to him.

“Corpse” he said breathlessly.

“Hey Sykkuno” came the reply, relieved and affectionate. “Everything alright in there?”

“Yeah” he said. His heart was galloping in his chest and he could feel his face hurting with his smile. “Were you also- were you also, um-”

His cheeks heated up, embarrassed. _What if Corpse wasn’t-_

”Touching myself?” Corpse asked, amused. “Yeah of course baby, you sounded so good for me.”

 _For me_ thought Sykkuno giddily. His fingers were still twitching with the aftershocks of his orgasm. Everything felt better with Corpse around, he thought dreamily.

“Oh does it?”

Sykkuno felt his cheeks flush darker. “Did I say that out loud?”

“You sound loopy as fuck, dude” laughed Corpse. “That’s cute. Is this the first time you’ve done something like this?”

“Pretty much, yeah” said Sykkuno shyly. His fingers traced loops on the bedsheets, still smiling. “I told you Corpse, I’ve never done anything like this.”

“It felt good with you too, Sykkuno” said Corpse reassuringly. “This is nice. You think you wanna continue this?”

Joy never felt so palpable, so electric and Sykkuno squealed. Corpse laughed, a beautiful warm sound and Sykkuno laughed back.

“Yeah” said Sykkuno, and he felt his happiness settle in his bones, deep and content. “Yeah Corpse, let’s do this.”

●●●

Corpse always thought that friends with benefits was a deeply tedious affair, too complicated and messy and left either party or both parties high and dry. It was probably his own experience, but it still unnerved him to be in one again right after he swore off them.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the case with his newest friends with benefits relationship. Unsurprisingly, it was because of Sykkuno.

Being with Sykkuno meant he was naturally affectionate. Sykkuno was incredibly adorable at any given point of time. Nothing had changed, Sykkuno still DM’d him about lobbies like Corpse was going to ever say no, he still texted Corpse cute animal videos, and he still giggled shyly when Corpse did flirt with him in lobbies.

What changed was a new, very positive influx of affection. It was _nice_ to wake up and have Sykkuno’s little “good morning Corpse” and usually some variation of a flustered text about how he woke up late. If he thought Sykkuno’s voice sounded nice on stream, it sounded even better on call; somehow softer, lower, the cadence of his lilt much more pronounced without a camera capturing his face. When the camera was on, Corpse could relish the full blow of Sykkuno’s captivating dark eyes staring at him with-

-with frankly way too much earnest affection if Corpse was being honest, considering the nature of their relationship. It made him grateful that Sykkuno almost never asked him to switch on the camera or didn’t really seem to mind when Corpse averted his eyes away from him. It was like looking directly at a beam of sunlight, and coupled with Sykkuno’s painfully earnest, awkward compliments, it made Corpse’s heart beat sort of funny.

_It was the first time they’d met and Corpse felt something strange, almost like his heart had been replaced by a hummingbird as he watched Sykkuno fidget shyly at the door of his own apartment, his eyes downcast as Corpse toed his shoes off at the doorway. Charmed, Corpse tilted his chin up with his thumb. Sykkuno was blushing, a soft protesting noise escaping him and Corpse stepped closer, close enough that their chests were almost brushing. Sykkuno was smiling slightly, his eyes like beautiful clear pools and Corpse leaned in closer, pressing their foreheads together._

_“Hey” he whispered and he smiled as Sykkuno stepped closer too. Corpse pulled down his mask and Sykkuno blinked before glancing away shyly, smiling._

_“Hey” whispered Sykkuno back earnestly. His small hand reached out to hold the hand Corpse wasn’t using to cup his face. “Was the drive too far?”_

_Corpse laughed. How adorably on brand for him to ask something like that. “No” he murmured. His lips brushed against Sykkuno’s almost on accident and he watched as Sykkuno’s lashes fluttered, closing shut. “Did you get tired of waiting?”_

_Sykkuno’s eyes opened again. This close Corpse could see his dark eyes up close; his long straight lashes that curved away from his eyes prettily at the corner like natural eyeliner, the intricate matrix pattern of his sclera and iris, the pupils of his eyes that had dilated to eat most of it away._

_“I waited 28 years for you, didn’t I?”_

_It was too much for Corpse, it made him think of this as more than a physical convenience that they both unfortunately craved but fortunately shared. He took that as his cue to press their lips together (more so to stop Sykkuno from saying anything unnervingly honest again) and something like butterflies swarmed his stomach as Sykkuno gasped. The small, birdboned hand holding his tightened its grip and Sykkuno brought up between them to press it against his chest as he kissed Corpse innocently. Corpse moved the hand holding his chin in place to slide against his smooth jaw, fingers finding their placeholds in the soft hollow of the space behind his ears._

_They spent some time there, up against the wall of Sykkuno’s apartment. Corpse kicked the door behind him shut as Sykkuno giggled into his mouth. His lips were soft with chapstick and tasted faintly like litchi. Their hands remained twined together as Corpse patiently drove the kiss along, trying not to smile as Sykkuno learned quickly, nipping Corpse’s lip before swiping his tongue over it soothingly._

_It was extremely easy from there on to just stumble into Sykkuno’s little apartment, giggling like kids as they helped each other out of their clothes and Corpse never wanted to stop touching Sykkuno. Sykkuno’s skin pinked easily, he found out quickly enough as even just the slightest hint of suction, let alone teeth left behind a mark on his skin. It also made the prettiest noises burst from Sykkuno, whose own fingers had found their homes on Corpse, roving between being curled up gently in his hair like a kitten trying out grips, versus pressing indents on Corpse’s shoulders as Corpse rocked against them, naked and wanting._

_Corpse couldn’t help but revel in the shocked, delighted expression on his pretty face as he ground up gently against him. It made him think of his own first time, the joy of being touched and wanted and the genuine delight on Sykkuno’s face as Corpse’s fingers explored his torso made him smile into his skin._

_“Corpse” he breathed, and Corpse felt something stir in his chest, naked and vulnerable. He pushed down further into Sykkuno’s abdomen. He thought of Sykkuno doing it with anyone else and the warm ball of light in his gut soured like milk._

_“Mine” he mumbled into the curve of Sykkuno’s neck. Words didn’t matter in the heat of the moment, he rationalised. He knew Sykkuno had to stream tomorrow but between the soft, happy little gasps Sykkuno was letting out and the way his fingers curled in Corpse’s hair holding him against his neck as Corpse bit and sucked marks on it made Corpse think that he wasn’t particularly averse to showing up for a stream looking like he got fucked 6 ways to Sunday._

_“Yours” replied Sykkuno and a fucked out, ecstatic smile took over his face as he nudged his hips up, meeting Corpse’s. Corpse hissed, pinning Sykkuno’s hips down and nipped warningly at the thin skin over his clavicle, mouthing over the smooth expanse of the bone as it met the joint of his shoulder. Sykkuno’s body lurched under him, trying to get Corpse to rut against him faster, get more friction._

_“Be good Sykkuno” demanded Corpse, and his fingers skated teasingly soft over the smooth straight edges of Sykkuno’s torsos, so unlike a woman’s body. “You_ want _to be good for me, don’t you?”_

 _“I’m close” he whined and didn’t he look gorgeous like that, mused Corpse, his pale skin beaded with sweat, tears and sweat catching on the individual hairs of his eyelashes, pooling over the divot of his lips. Entranced, Corpse leaned in to kiss it, and_ fuck it _, he kissed Sykkuno’s soft pretty lips again. He felt addicted as he pulled away, Sykkuno’s eyes were squeezed shut. He leaned in, pressing his palm to the smooth pane of his cheek and Sykkuno’s eyes opened and Corpse had to physically look away at how potently adoring his gaze was coupled with the fucked out smile on his face as he came._

_He came soon after, the thought of Sykkuno’s petal soft lips, his salty sweat damp skin and those beautiful eyes causing him to come as he rutted against the sharp angle of Sykkuno’s hip. Sykkuno let out a huge whoosh of breath as Corpse collapsed on top of him._

_“Too much?” Corpse asked, making an effort to roll on to his side. Sykkuno’s small hands settled on his bare waist as he wrapped them around Corpse’s torso._

_“Just right” replied Sykkuno and his voice was muffled but a deaf man could hear the joy in his voice. “Corpse” he said and he giggled brightly, nuzzling Corpse’s neck._

_It was slightly_ too _affectionate for Corpse’s understanding of FWB relationships, they didn’t usually canoodle or let the partner press a line of soft heady kisses against the line of their throat. He mused vaguely, that he wasn’t exactly being the patron saint of maintaining boundaries as he leaned in to pepper Sykkuno’s pretty face with kisses._

_“How do you feel?” he asked, drawing the line at a final little peck pressed to Sykkuno’s nose. Sykkuno crinkled it, his face soft and open._

_“I just had an orgasm, Corpse, what do you think?”_

_Startled, Corpse laughed and his instinct took over his rational brain screaming for boundaries as he pressed another kiss to Sykkuno’s smiling lips as he rolled them over. Sykkuno’s weight was slight and the sharp bones of his knees dug into Corpse’s thighs in a domestic way that made Corpse slightly edged out. “That’s hot as fuck ba- dude. I’ve never heard you say that word before.”_

_Sykkuno shrugged, but Corpse noticed that the spark in his eyes dimmed slightly at the quick change in nicknames. Pushing down the feeling of guilt (he had no reason to be guilty, thought Corpse defensively, Sykkuno was just catching feelings because it was his first time ever with anyone and he’d regain his sense of reality in a few hours anyway). “What about you? First time just done, how do you feel?”_

_“I” said Sykkuno and he glanced down shyly. “I feel great.”_

_Relieved that Sykkuno wasn’t upset (he had no reason to be upset, he was a smart guy who knew their relationship was just an exchange of conveniences), Corpse pressed another soft kiss to his forehead. Friends did that, he rationalised._

_“You deserve to feel great” said Corpse quietly. Sykkuno’s eyes peeked up at him, oddly vulnerable._

_“Do you think we’re going too fast?” he asked softly. “I mean, I thought the third date is when this sort of stuff usually happened.”_

_Corpse shrugged. “These kinds of relationships usually speedrun themselves.”_

_Sykkuno hummed quietly, his eyes faraway but when Corpse leaned in to press another kiss against his mouth, his lips parted easily, kissing back. One kiss became two, became several as Corpse rolled them back over onto the bedsheets to utilise more of the time wisely._

Shaking his head out of pleasant, conflicting memories, he stared at Sykkuno’s little _online_ header on Whatsapp. Almost as if on cue-

🌿

_thinkin about u :0 <_

Corpse sighed, helpless.

☠

_> me too  
> when can we meet again _

🌿

_:D <  
im probs coming to LA on Sunday <  
to meet my grandma <_

☠

_> :)  
> we could meet then hm_

🌿

_I mean <  
if u want to <  
unrelated, but one of my subscribers <  
sent me some cat ears and a collar <  
ALSO UNRELATED <  
but I found some very pretty thigh highs that kind   
of look like fishnets :3 <_

Corpse laughed. Something like affection threatened to burst out of the dead husk of his heart.

☠

_> you little minx  
> I’ll send you my address _

🌿

_that’s a new one :3 <  
but I’ll accept it ^-^ <_

_Don’t fall in love with your best friend_ thought Corpse firmly to himself, throwing his phone to the side, burying his head in his hands. Sykkuno’s dazed, fucked out smile flashed in his mind, his pretty eyes staring up at Corpse with naked adoration.

His phone beeped. Corpse stared at the lockscreen notification.

**Sykkuno** **🌿**

_I miss you <3_

Corpse flipped the phone back onto its face, exhaling.

 _Don’t get attached_ he thought shamefully, reaching out for his Balisong, flipping it in his hands. The knife spun in the air, the blades flashing against the lights. He smiled as it landed perfectly in his hand and he wondered what Sykkuno would think about it.

His smile faded, his heart chilling over again. The notification was still on his lockscreen.

_I miss you too._

●●●

🌿

_What is your favourite song? <_

☠

_> that I created or that I like in general?  
> music is fickle to me, I don’t really do favourites  
> to me, a favourite is like  
> a benchmark song  
> any song that I like more than that is a song that fuckin slaps  
> anything less is just an average song ig_

🌿

_:O <  
that does kinda make sense <  
what’s your benchmark song? <_

☠

_> Trains by Porcupine Tree_

🌿

_cool name :D <  
I’ll check it out sometime <_

☠

_> :)  
> it’s got weird subtext tho  
> anything from nostalgia to kissing your cousin  
> but it fuckin slaps_

🌿

_o that’s ok <  
so does Sweet Home Albama ig <  
LOL <_

☠

_> never change Sykkuno _

●●●

Before he was in a relationship, Sykkuno wondered why people spent so much time writing and obsessing over sex. Overnight, he understood and empathised.

The collar felt like something Sykkuno could get used to, but he was too embarrassed to say it out loud to anyone, let alone Corpse who pushed him up against the wall when he awkwardly stepped outside the bathroom wearing it. The band of his cat ears pressed into the sensitive bones behind his ears.

“Corpse” he moaned as Corpse laughed, a warm puff of air against his nipple before diving back in, tugging it with his teeth. Sykkuno’s fingers were curled helplessly in his hair and even he wasn’t sure if he was trying to push Corpse away or pull him in closer.

_Twenty eight years of being in my body and I didn’t even know nipples were that sensitive._

“Say nya for me” teased Corpse, and Sykkuno shivered at the casual command in his tone. The feeling of wanting to be approved by any sort of authoritative figure rushed through him.

He lifted his hand cautiously, like he’d seen girls in Tiktoks do. “N-nya?”

Corpse’s eyes went from playful to feral and Sykkuno whimpered at the look in his eyes.

“Again” he murmured, pinching his nipple, and Sykkuno’s nya came out more as a horribly needy whine. He dragged Corpse back up, burying his face in Corpse’s neck, mortified and aroused by the whole interaction.

Touching Corpse felt almost too good to be real. Corpse was built in a juxtapositions, nothing about him made sense. His eyes were intense and a shade of hazel Sykkuno had never seen and they looked at him with a sort of strange longing, as if Sykkuno wasn’t there even though he was. His hands, large and capable trembled on Sykkuno’s waist when Sykkuno clamboured over onto his lap to kiss him. If touching Corpse felt good, being touched by Corpse felt even better. Sliding over his body, warm and strong, long stocky fingers sliding into Sykkuno’s hair as he tugged it gently to mark Sykkuno up in hickeys. A myriad of tattoos covered his body, jet black ink fading out into a dark green over the older tattoos.

“What are you thinking about, kitty, come back here” demanded Corpse, biting at his earlobe. Sykkuno felt himself blush as he peeked up at Corpse’s face. What a privilege, he thought dreamily, pushing back a soft curl of dark hair behind his ear, what a privilege to have this, to have Corpse so close and to be able to touch him too.

“I’m here” promised Sykkuno, wrapping his legs around Corpse’s waist. The dark material of his fishnet like stockings looked good against Corpse’s skin. Corpse smiled, and Sykkuno melted, leaning up to kiss his dimple. It deepened when he did that and Sykkuno barely got to relish it.

“Distracted kitty” murmured Corpse and Sykkuno could feel the blood rushing to his face and to his cock as it jerked weakly at his abdomen. Corpse laughed, grinding down slightly. Sykkuno didn’t want to ever stop looking at him. His fingers, so unlike Sykkuno’s cupped Sykkuno’s erection and tugged at his cock.

Sykkuno grabbed his hand and pressed it lower, and he could feel his cheeks flare up as Corpse’s eyes widened.

“Oh” said Corpse. “ _Oh_. You wanna do that?”

“Do _you_ want to?” Sykkuno asked nervously. Suddenly he wondered if it was a good idea at all. This was Sykkuno’s first time with anyone ever and he wondered if that gave him some sort of blanket protection against doing awkward embarrassing things; unlike Corpse who had been in relationships and Sykkuno felt his thoughts overcook before-

-Corpse’s finger caught in the little O loop of the choker and tugged. The sudden sensation of his airways getting blocked caused a shocked, choked out moan to leave his mouth, the world returning into sharp focus. It felt ridiculously blissful, the feeling of his own pulse hammering against the fabric of the choker. Corpse’s eyes were concerned as he let go, cupping Sykkuno’s cheek.

“Don’t float away like that, Sykkuno” he said quietly. Their hands were still on the insides of Sykkuno’s thighs, Corpse’s hand large and warm over Sykkuno’s own. The few contact points where his hand was larger than Sykkuno’s and touched the skin made Sykkuno shiver. The void of pressure on his throat felt bittersweet but Sykkuno was too embarrassed to ask for it again.

“Corpse” whimpered Sykkuno and he nudged his face into the hand cupping his face. Corpse leaned in to kiss his sternum. “I want it-“

“Where is your lube?” Corpse asked softly. His eyes were big and reminded Sykkuno of a cat, purring but willing to strike at any time. Sykkuno mutely nodded to the bedside drawer, trying not to think about how the world flashed back in technicolour for him when Corpse _choked_ him-

From there it was a whir, Sykkuno heard the little click of the bottle opening and then Corpse’s fingers were cautious, pressing against the outside of his rim as Sykkuno squirmed, desperate, trying to rock into Corpse’s finger, trying to push it back into himself. Corpse bit his thigh for that and Sykkuno’s voice cracked embarrassingly on a moan.

“Bad kitty” admonished Corpse, and Sykkuno whined, his thigh aching with a fresh new hickey that he knew he’d press quietly when he was at home again in Vegas, imagining the phantom press of Corpse’s lips and teeth on his skin.

 _Bad kitty._ It made him shiver just thinking about Corpse’s dulcet voice saying it, and he sort of wanted to hear him say it again. Sykkuno glowered at him and Corpse grinned up at him, his pretty eyes crinkling. His fingers were pressing tantalisingly over the rim, cool and wet.

“I’m not bad” he insisted and Corpse pressed a soft kiss to the hickey he left behind.

“Sure are, kitty” he said affectionately. Before Sykkuno could protest, he pushed the finger inside. Sykkuno moaned, a low broken sound and Corpse continued pressing kisses on his thighs. Sykkuno couldn’t decide what sensation to focus on.

One finger became two, and the one hickey on his thigh became two hickeys as Corpse continued nipping and suckling at the sensitive skin of his thighs. Sykkuno tried to be good, tried not to squirm too much as Corpse worked him open gently but everything felt like electricity and fire coursing through his veins; the sensation of Corpse’s soft hair brushing against his legs from between his stockings, the feeling of his bony knuckles pressing against his perineum, the single minded focus with which he stared up at Sykkuno as he pressed up into his prostrate with two fingers. Sykkuno cried out, fingers bunching up the sheets by his thighs trying not to move. Corpse’s fingers pressed tauntingly against the lump and pushed against it _hard_ and Sykkuno arched up on his elbows, spine curving upwards as he stared up at the ceiling with his eyes wet with tears and his cock jerking on his stomach.

“Needy kitty” observed Corpse and his fingers were now three, stretching him out and brushing against his prostate. He could _feel_ how loud he was, the air abuzz with the constant stream of moans and gasps he was letting out. Sykkuno was trying to grind himself back onto Corpse’s huge fingers. Nothing had felt so good and complete and Corpse growled, pushing his hips back down. His eyes turned empathetic as Sykkuno squirmed, aching for more.

“I’m clean and I’m assuming you’re clean too, right?” Corpse asked quietly as he pulled his fingers out. They were wet and shiny with lube and Sykkuno closed his eyes to avoid even looking at how obscene it seemed. “I couldn’t see any condoms in your drawer.”

“Uh, yeah, I got myself tested right after we…” Sykkuno trailed off, unable to look at Corpse. The room seemed startlingly quiet now that it was void of Sykkuno’s cacophony of sounds. Another gentle kiss pressed to his hipbone. “After we, uh.”

He heard a quiet laugh and the word _cute_ mumbled into his skin as Corpse sat up on his knees, looming over him. Sykkuno couldn’t help but stare up at his imposing figure, muscle definition still present even if the muscles had gone lax from disuse; the sharp lines of his chest and back from what Sykkuno had seen still prominent. Veins crawled across all of his body, from his hands to his feet to his cock and Sykkuno shivered as he watched Corpse’s large, lube slicked hand wrap around his cock which was in no means was small. A vein peeked out from the corner of the head too and Sykkuno ached to taste it.

 _Maybe next time_ he thought and a soft of reverent feeling settled in his bones as Corpse pushed his thighs into the air, bending him in half. His hip popped embarrassingly loud, causing Corpse to let out a startled laugh as he pressed the head of his cock against the tight ring of muscle.

“Still wanna do this, Sykkuno?” Corpse asked quietly. His fingers were rubbing soothing circles on Sykkuno’s hips and Sykkuno bit his lip, nodding. Corpse leaned in, pressing his thumb to the lip, tugging it out from under his teeth.

“You’ll get sores like that” he reprimanded and kissed Sykkuno with infinite tenderness as Sykkuno’s heart soared with how considerate he was. His lips curved into a crooked, boyish grin and Sykkuno wanted to look at him forever. “Besides, you’re being too hot for me to focus right now.”

“Oh- um, sorry?”

Corpse laughed again, and it was punctuated only by Sykkuno gasping as he pushed in. It felt like nothing he’d ever felt before, and he hooked his ankles over Corpse’s waist, breathing heavily as the air from his body seemed to get punched out.

“Okay?” asked Corpse softly. Their foreheads pressed together and Sykkuno stared up at him with wet eyes, breathing heavily. “Fuck you feel so good baby, you need to tell me if you’re in pain.”

“No” moaned Sykkuno and he sat up on his elbows. Corpse moved with him, pressing little kisses to his lax lips and Sykkuno moaned as the change in the angle caused Corpse’s cock to press squarely up against his prostate. “You can continue.”

“Very considerate of you” teased Corpse, and Sykkuno whimpered as he pulled back out entirely to push back in again. This time Sykkuno could focus on microdetails like how _good_ it felt to be stretched out around Corpse’s cock, the obscene sound of Corpse pushing in, the feeling of his cock pushing up against his prostate on every thrust. Getting fucked with three fingers felt almost the same as getting fucked at all, he thought, as his mind spaced out on sensory overload, but without the sort of single minded power behind each thrust. Corpse’s forehead was pressed to his, his heavy lidded ashes staring down into Sykkuno’s eyes as he pistoned his hips into Sykkuno’s.

“So fucking pretty” mumbled Corpse and his fingers reached in to bury into Sykkuno’s hair, right behind the ears and pulled and Sykkuno could hear himself getting louder, arching into Corpse’s hand as Corpse fucked into him steadily.

“More” begged Sykkuno, tightening his arms and legs around Corpse. They were pressed against each other in so many different points and it felt like all his synaptic junctions were alit. “Corpse _please-_ ”

“What do you want?” Corpse asked. His lips moved against Sykkuno’s skin, another point of contact. Sykkuno’s brain was frying itself. He made a choked out noise, trying to rock back into Corpse’s hips but their bodies were so close that all Sykkuno could do was whimper as more of them touched, the slide of skin against skin burning him from inside out. Corpse’s hand slipped from his hair to his jaw, cradling it gently before his huge hand wrapped itself gently around Sykkuno’s neck. There wasn’t any pressure but Sykkuno nearly shrieked as he did it, the rings of his hand hard and unforgiving against his skin. He knew he was talking, babbling really, asking for something but he had no idea what it was.

“Please” he sobbed, trying to squirm. It felt so intense, so intensely good that Sykkuno felt unhinged, slightly insane. “Don’t stop.”

“I wasn’t going to” said Corpse soothingly but his eyes were wild, just a thin ring of hazel around dark black pupil, like the eye of a storm. His thumb rubbed soothingly over his Adam’s apple and Sykkuno ached for him to push on it, add some pressure, turn the world vivid with colour again but all that came out of his mouth was a shocked little garble. “How could I, fucking look at you.”

 _Look at me_ thought Sykkuno’s dwindling rational brain _and do what_? He was sure he wasn’t winning any points in looking attractive right now, he could feel his eyes leaking tears, his hair was a mess, not to mention the stupid cat ears but Corpse’s voice was reverent, adoring, his eyes hadn’t left Sykkuno’s face for a single second.

Corpse pulled out and Sykkuno whined at the betrayal, and Corpse had the audacity to smile patiently at him. Before Sykkuno could get awkward, embarrassed, his hand gently pushed Sykkuno by the hip and Sykkuno rolled over on his hands and knees with his ass in the air. He dropped his head down, embarrassed.

“Jesus fucking Christ” he heard distantly. That made him smile. Tentatively, he stuck his ass up higher, arching his back.

He heard a low moan, and turned his head, peeking up at Corpse with his best _please come fuck me_ expression.

“Nya?”

It worked somehow because Corpse growled, and Sykkuno whimpered as he felt the push of Corpse’s cock back in him as strong hands grabbed him by the hips and yanked him closer. The angle made Corpse seem somehow bigger, somehow deeper inside him and Sykkuno cried out loudly as Corpse wrapped his arms around his torso, draping himself over Sykkuno. His lips were soft and insistent, as he bit hickeys on Sykkuno’s shoulders, kissing the wings of his shoulders. Sykkuno could hear himself moaning and gasping loudly, squirming as Corpse’s clever fingers plucked at his nipples.

It all felt like so much and Sykkuno could feel his peak approaching fast, and Corpse’s hands snaked under him, warm and calloused and his fingers wrapped around his cock. Overwhelmed, he felt his arms buckle and he fell forward, face smushing into the sheets as Corpse fucked into him hard and deep, wrist twisting over his cock. The sheets were cold against his nipples and he pressed his torso against them and Corpse swore again, low and sharp. He tilted his head to the side on the covers, drooling with pleasure as Corpse fucked him. Mildly embarrassed by how loud he was being, he buried his head in the pillows, muffling his whines before-

“Don’t be rude, kitty” said Corpse sharply, and two fingers crawled under his collar and tugged gently, lifting his head up but not enough, _not enough-_

He moved his hand just in time to grab Corpse’s, and pull it onto his throat, cheeks burning with shame and excitement as he stared up at Corpse’s confused eyes that were dawning with realisation.

“Oh” said Corpse, and his voice turned wickedly amused. “ _Oh_ you want me to-“

Sykkuno screamed with pleasure as Corpse’s fingers tightened, and he could hear Corpse swearing distantly but nothing had ever felt so good. He could feel his heart hammering like a hummingbird in his chest, he was openly sobbing now; drooling and crying as Corpse fucked him. The room span in colours as he gasped for air, the colours suddenly vibrant and distorted and Corpse’s fingers relaxed briefly, the rings still pressing against his Adam’s apple as he came, sobbing. He felt like a mess, destroyed from inside out as Corpse whispered praises into his shoulder. It barely took a dozen of thrusts more, Sykkuno whimpering brokenly at each of them before Corpse came, biting down on his shoulder as he did.

“Sykkuno” said Corpse, and his voice made his name sound like a prayer. Embarrassed he shook his head burying his face in the sheets. “ _Sykkuno”_

“Corpse” said Sykkuno, just as dazed. He let out a defeated moan as Corpse pulled out of him. Corpse let out an impressed sound, his hands coming up to hold Sykkuno’s ass and-

“Don’t look” whined Sykkuno, batting at him as his cheeks flamed harder. “That’s-“

“It looks good though” teased Corpse, amused. A soft finger came to touch the edge of his hole and Sykkuno whined again as the rim of it fluttered, trying to let Corpse back in, fill him back up-

“Look, even you want it” continued Corpse, clearly enjoying Sykkuno’s embarrassed huffs and moans that he tried to muffle. Sykkuno lifted his head and looked at him balefully. Laughing, Corpse grabbed him by the hips and rolled him over and Sykkuno winced at the ache in his lower half. Corpse’s eyes turned concerned.

“Wait here” he murmured, and left and Sykkuno stared at his legs, long and corded with muscle. He knew Corpse was an athlete at some point in his life, and it showed and he felt himself wanting to trace up it with his fingers and lips. Corpse returned with a glass of water and a damp cloth.

“What?” when he saw Sykkuno smiling dopily at him.

“Nothing” said Sykkuno and he giggled, reaching out for Corpse. Smiling, Corpse wrapped his own arms around him, and Sykkuno buried his face in his abdomen, nuzzling him. Corpse pushed him back gently, and Sykkuno took the water from it. It felt nice and cold against his parched throat and he pinked at the thought of streaming tomorrow, considering he spent a few hours making very loud noises that probably scared Corpse’s neighbours. Corpse’s fingers reached up to pull off his socks and he wiggled his toes, making Corpse laugh. The cloth was wonderfully cold against his overheated skin and Sykkuno leaned his head back against the headboard, his eyes fluttering shut. He could feel Corpse pressing soft kisses at random, and it made him his heart beat funny.

Corpse pressed a kiss to his forehead as he sat down next to Sykkuno. “You okay? Do you want anything?”

Sykkuno tried to focus on feeling anything at all, but all he felt was blissed out and slightly sleepy. He remembered that the band of his cat ears pressed into the sensitive bones behind his ears, but he wondered if there were any bones behind the ear at all.

Corpse gently kissed behind his ear as he pulled off the ears, right in the little hollow right beneath it.

“Mastoid” he said smiling. His smile made a lot of things in Sykkuno’s stomach lurch. Sykkuno noted absently that he had two little freckles right by his dimple that made it look like an :O when he smiled.

“What?” he asked and Corpse pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Pay attention, kitty” and Sykkuno squeaked indignantly as Corpse brushed against the bone again. “It’s the mastoid bone.”

“Alright Dr. Corpse” said Sykkuno and he intended it to be teasing but it came out far too adoring for his own taste. Corpse raised an eyebrow.

“Oh?” he asked, amused. His lips brushed lower, pressing against the column of Sykkuno’s neck.

“Clavicle” he murmured softly, right over the thin skin of the pronounced bone. Sykkuno felt his eyes close, his brain hyperfocusing on Corpse’s soft words. Corpse was pressing deep, earnest kisses to his skin and Sykkuno had never felt anything like it, little jolts passing through his touch starved, exhausted body. It was like all his neurons were dormant and decided to wake up all together.

“Scapula” whispered Corpse. A kiss to his pectoral and Sykkuno shivered.

“Humerus.” A kiss to his arm. Sykkuno felt himself smiling. “Radius and ulna.” Two soft kisses to his forearm and Sykkuno’s smile widened. He peeked down at Corpse who was holding his wrist earnestly.

He watched as Corpse pressed his lips to his wrist. “Carpals.” Little higher onto his palm, pressing it reverently to his mouth. “Metacarpals.” Higher up, to the base of his fingers. “Phalanges.”

Sykkuno opened his mouth to tease him and Corpse interrupted him.

“Proximal phalanges” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. His voice drawled the syllables almost inappropriately and it made Sykkuno want to laugh.

“Corpse~” he whined, smiling. Corpse pressed two more kisses to his fingers, whispering “Intermediate and distal phalanges” and Sykkuno laughed, reaching up to cover his mouth. He beckoned Corpse closer, letting his arms drape over his shoulders.

“Why do you know all those bones anyway?”

Corpse’s smile dimmed slightly. “I lost sensation in my arms and I did as much study as I could about the body as I could.”

“Oh” said Sykkuno, suddenly mortified. The dazed cloud in his mind lifted, and he blinked abashedly at Corpse. “I’m-”

“Don’t” said Corpse quietly. “It’s not your fault or mine.”

Sykkuno bit his lip, his mind running in overdrive. His eyes dropped from Corpse’s wary ones over onto his shoulder, trying to think as he stared at the tattoos on his arm, snaking over his bicep. Corpse twisted his shoulder to show it to him.

“Do you like them?”

Sykkuno peeked up at him, wondering if he dreamt up the note of nervousness in his voice. “It’s very pretty.” He traced the lines of it, wondering how long it took and if it hurt a lot.

“They’re my favourite flowers” continued Corpse, nodding. Sykkuno tilted his head.

“Your favourite flower is a cabbage?” There was a choked sound from above him. “It’s pretty but I prefer peonies.”

“Roses” grumbled Corpse and Sykkuno blinked, tilting his head more.

“I think they scammed you, that’s definitely a cabbage” said Sykkuno doubtfully and Corpse bit him on the jaw for that, and he giggled. Corpse tilted his shoulder again to peer at it, his clever eyes narrowing.

“Goddamit I see your point” and Sykkuno laughed, not even bothering to hide it. Corpse’s grin returned as Sykkuno laughed, and Sykkuno wrapped his arms around him, nudging his jaw with his nose. “Maybe I should get it filled?”

Sykkuno struggled to keep his face straight. “Oh, so your favourite flower is a _red_ cabbage?”

Corpse bit him again, and Sykkuno laughed harder as Corpse stifled his wheeze in his shoulder. The feel of his body on top of Sykkuno’s had gone from electric to warm and comforting in a matter of few minutes and Sykkuno held him in his arms and hoped and _hoped_ it would never stop feeling so much.

But just as quickly, Corpse rolled over. Sykkuno pouted.

“You should get some rest” said Corpse quietly. His eyes were strangely closed off suddenly as he got to his feet, pulling on his shoulder. He winced when he looked down at Sykkuno, naked and slightly berefet.

“Oh” said Sykkuno. He wondered if Corpse’s shoulder was aching. “You could- we could rest together?”

Corpse’s eyebrows pinched together, as if Sykkuno suggested something strangely dangerous. “I- I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sykkuno.”

“Okay” whispered Sykkuno, suddenly feeling naked in a very vulnerable way. Corpse’s face softened.

“I’ll get you some blankets, hold on” said Corpse.

He came back with the blankets, and pressed a kiss to Sykkuno’s forehead as Sykkuno got buried under them. His eyes were still carefully soft, not revealing a lot. As he turned to leave, Sykkuno grabbed his hand.

“Are you sure- you don’t wanna stay?”

“I think its best that I don’t” said Corpse and his voice sounded exhausted. Fearing he had overstepped his boundaries, Sykkuno let go of his hand. Corpse’s hand lingered, their palms pressing together as if magnets and Sykkuno let himself hope but then the room flickered into darkness.

“Goodnight Sykkuno.”

“Goodnight Corpse” said Sykkuno quietly into the room and wondered why he felt cold under the disappointingly light weight of the blankets.

●●●

☠

_> if we were in the sky, you’d be the moon and  
I’d be the sun _

🌿

_:0 <  
why? <_

☠

_> ~~because~~ [MESSAGE DELETED] ~~  
~~ > ~~I’m burning myself up in every way possible~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> ~~toxic, nauseous, cancerous~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> ~~sure it produces light but~~ [MESSAGE DELETED] ~~  
>~~ ~~at the cost of burning up, right~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> ~~and you take the best of me and turn it beautiful~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> ~~glow with it~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> ~~people only talking about the moon needing the sun to glow but  
~~ ~~no one talks about how the sun needs to moon to edify it~~ [MESSAGE DELETED] ~~  
>~~ guess :)_

🌿

_hmm <  
because I’m cool and ur hot? :D <_

☠

_> spot on  
> remind me to reward you for being so smart ;) _

●●● 

_(TW: blood, suicidal thoughts wrt car crashes, blood, iatrophobia)_

Corpse wondered what it would be like to die in a car crash.

Fast, just a moment of intense pain? Slow, drawn out, as he gurgled on his own blood, as it poured from out of his capillaries? Maybe internal bleeding due to blunt impact?

He was speeding but there was no one on the road. He didn’t even know what road he was on. It had been easily more than two hours, but he didn’t want to turn around and return to the empty apartment. The phone call from his mother’s hospital just put his mind in overdrive, as he drove recklessly, away from his house, and in a very stupid way, away from the phone call. The roads were empty due to the pandemic and the late hour and he couldn’t even see any cops on the road. The blurry vision was probably because of his medication and the tears that he was blinking away.

It was funny- he thought he’d cut everyone from his past life out, removed them, gotten past them. And it was true too, he felt hollow, numb to the reality that his mother and him were on the fast track to death, but his aching body seemed to still care, seemed to still want to cry and clench up his innards into knots when he got news like this. Phonecalls scared him, he knew the digits of all his doctors numbers and he waited for them to fizzle out and leave voice notes, he drank himself to near death before playing them out.

When his vision cleared, he slowed down slightly, blinking at the well illuminated streets. He was no longer in LA, he realised, as he peered around, trying to look for some sort of an inkling as to where he was. He drove by slowly, looking at the signs.

_35 minutes to Las Vegas._

Sykkuno lived on the outskirts of Vegas, away from most of the bustle and traffic. His heart clenched up in a different funny way, thinking about Sykkuno. He was closer than 35 minutes away from Corpse, warm and probably sleepy.

Corpse was beginning to suspect they weren’t on the same page, relationship-wise. Sykkuno’s eyes still lingered with sadness whenever Corpse pulled away from him after sex, he seemed to care that they only ever called when Corpse was horny or that every call ended with phone sex. The only place Corpse let himself get vulnerable about how he felt about Sykkuno was strangely enough, on stream with over sixty thousand people watching him simp for Sykkuno’s laugh. It was safe there, he could pretend to blend in with Ludwig or Ray or even Toast, all hopelessly smitten for Sykkuno. There he didn’t have to worry about Sykkuno’s too pretty eyes staring up at him wetly, as if Corpse hung the moon and stars in the night sky, or have to pretend he wasn’t endlessly charmed by Sykkuno calling his roses cabbages.

Would it be taking advantage, he wondered, would it be taking advantage of his dear friend if he crashed unexpectedly? He knew Sykkuno definitely didn’t view their relationship as simply a matter of convenience, even though it was. Corpse didn’t have it in him to break it to him yet, and break the fragile bond he had left with sanity. Before he could think too much about it, he pulled up Sykkuno’s contact.

Sykkuno’s voice filtered through the car’s audio system, like an 8D soundtrack. “Corpse?”

Treacherous tears bubbled at the corner of his eyes. “Hey Sykkuno.”

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice made a few more tears dribble out of his eyes. “You weren’t online for a few hours too, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“You never disturb me” said Corpse quietly. “What are you upto?”

“Oh, I was- I couldn’t sleep” said Sykkuno, laughing awkwardly. “So I was, practising.”

“Your bass?”

Sykkuno laughed nervously. “Uh- no. It’s not the bass, it’s something else.”

“Can I listen?” Corpse asked softly.

“Sure-”

“Live?”

Sykkuno paused. “Corpse, where are you?”

“I’m in Vegas” said Corpse, barking out a laugh, wiping off the tears with the back of his hand. “Needed to escape.”

Sykkuno was talking excitedly, his pretty voice pitching upwards cutely as he excitedly invited Corpse over. It made Corpse smile as he put in the coordinates for Sykkuno’s house from last time. He tried to focus on the roads, driving slower than the speed limit. Vegas was always alive and Corpse didn’t want to get pulled over or understand how he’d die in a car crash _now_.

He didn’t remember parking, he didn’t remember parking the car, he didn’t remember taking the elevator. He just remembered Sykkuno standing, sleepy and smiling brightly in his red shirt and flannel pajamas, his hair soft and fluffy and tickling Corpse’s cheek as he practically fell onto him. Tears dripped down the edge of his nose as he clutched Sykkuno, numb and aching with the void of it but Sykkuno was so warm and alive, his warm hands bleeding warmth as the pressed against Corpse’s shoulder blades.

He walked them back steadily, holding up Corpse’s weight admirably as he sat them on the couch. He sat on Corpse’s lap, wrapping his arms and legs around Corpse’s body, and the warm weight of him just _there_ made Corpse feel better. Somehow the weight of his body made the burden of life easier to bear.

Eventually he pulled back. Sykkuno’s face was open and soft, the traces of sleep still lingering in his beautiful eyes. “Did you eat anything?”

Corpse nodded his head and peered at the big instrument in the middle of the room.

“You play the _harp._ ”

Sykkuno rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeahhh. My grandfather used to play it, and I really liked it. He taught me while he was alive and then my grandmother’s friend did.” He nudged Corpse’s arm gently with his finger. “The one you tried to incriminate, remember?”

Corpse barked out a laugh. “The unexpected pedophile your grandmother is friends with, yeah.” Sykkuno made an indignant sound but laughed. “Do you play any other instruments?”

“Just a little bit of piano” said Sykkuno, leaning against Corpse’s shoulder. “My sisters play the piano and the violin.”

Corpse smiled into his hair. “I could totally see you playing a violin. Your Lie in April sort of beat.”

“If I was a pianist or a violinist, I’d not fit into my clothes because my head would be too big” quipped Sykkuno and Corpse laughed again and Sykkuno poked his cheek over the mask, where the dimple would be. “The great thing about being a harpist was that there almost was never another harpist so I’d always get a spot in the orchestra.”

Another little piece of Sykkuno information. Corpse hoarded it, pleased. “Did you play professionally?”

“Just upto my first year in uni” said Sykkuno. His fingers were warm and Corpse realised that both his hands had callouses. _That makes sense._

He leaned back slightly to stare at Sykkuno’s smiling face. “I guess all those theories of you being an angel are true after all, hm?

Sykkuno’s face was amused as he pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

Corpse shoved him gently, stretching himself out on the couch. It was just long enough that he didn’t have neck pain, his feet resting on the raised edge of the couch. “Play something for me then.”

“So demanding” grumbled Sykkuno, but his face was amused as he sat on the stool. He peered at Corpse, oddly bashful and Corpse took the hint, turning his head away from his object of interest to stare at the ceiling numbly.

The music was soft, and Corpse felt himself smiling as Sykkuno seemed to get more and more into it. He turned around, on his side as he watched Sykkuno pluck at the strings. His socked feet pressed pedals on the bottom of the harp and he seemed to sway slightly as he played it. His eyes were focused, his tongue peeking out slightly as wet his lip and Corpse felt the drag of sleep taking over him just as Sykkuno finished the first piece.

“Another one” he demanded sleepily. Sykkuno peeked at him from behind the column of the harp before breaking into another piece, much softer and lovelier than the first. Much shorter too. Corpse’s eyes were heavy with sleep.

“That one sounded different” he accused sleepily and Sykkuno laughed, prettier than the notes hovering in the air.

“It's the same piece, just different movements” said Sykkuno affectionately.

“Keep going” he mumbled, nuzzling the couch cushion. It smelled of Sykkuno. The music in the air sounded like something from Sykkuno’s heart. When Corpse closed his eyes and dreamed, he didn’t dream of tires screeching and the steady drip of blood; but instead of a small Sykkuno sitting on a footstool, while a blurry elderly Asian man taught him how to pluck the strings of the harp in the afternoon sunlight.

He woke up to the smell of ramen and rubbed his eyes sleepily. Sykkuno had put a blanket over him, and Corpse sat up to peer into the kitchen where Sykkuno was hacking away at some onions badly. His arms were confusing, the bicep leanly muscled but his wrists were delicate and small. He was just wearing a vest and the flannel pants from last night, his dark hair messy around his profile and Corpse wondered if last night was a dream.

“Corpse” he said smiling. Backlit by the large window in the kitchen, his dark hair glowed around his face and Corpse stared, mesmerised. “I’m making ramen.”

“I can see that” yawned Corpse. He hadn’t slept that well in forever. “Do you have an extra toothbrush I can borrow?”

When he came back from the washroom, patting his face dry with the washtowel, he wrapped his arms around his slight form, burying his face in his neck. Sykkuno was trying to float a boiled egg on the ramen bowl.

“This one is yours because it looks neater” he said nodding at the bowl he was trying to salvage and Corpse smiled into his neck. The other egg was slightly more pitiful, the yolk had detached from the whites and was floating around in the soup. Corpse pressed a kiss to the top of his head before Sykkuno twisted in his arms. The sun rays turned his eyes a warm shade of amber.

“You can have it, if you want” said Corpse, staring down at his eyes. There were gold flecks in it. The light made his pupils contract, the rich matrix of them warmed by the light.

Sykkuno pouted. “It’s the first time you’re staying over, it should be memorable.”

Corpse thought of Sykkuno sitting in the dimly lit hall, his long clever fingers plucking at harp strings; the way his arms held up Corpse as Corpse’s body shook with tears that he didn’t understand who he was crying for, the feeling of instant comfort when he opened the door and Corpse stared down at his pretty features pinched in concern-

“It was pretty memorable if you ask me.”

It did end up pretty memorable, Corpse pushed him up against the long glass pane, tugging the vest off his body. Sunlight turned Sykkuno divine, the undertones of his tan making him golden and the tears that glinted in his eyes when he wrapped a leg around Corpse, his arms flung around them as Corpse fucked the soft skin between his thighs. Corpse let himself get carried away in how sentimental it all was, the pale gold of his skin in the morning sun, the satiny plush skin of his thighs, the scrunch of his face when Corpse came ( _“you didn’t come yet” Corpse said, reaching out for him, but Sykkuno only kissed his cheek and said “later, you need to eat first”)_ , the way he sat pressed up against Corpse, his legs draped over Corpse’s as they sat adjacent to each other, giggling as they ended up sharing their noodles.

“You should send me some recordings” said Corpse, chewing around the surprisingly delicious ramen.

Sykkuno’s eyes brightened. “Yeah? You’d like that?”

“You sound good, dude, I could listen to some classical music if you were playing it” said Corpse, leaning his head against the glass. He studied Sykkuno’s long fingered hands holding the chopsticks, the soft pink smudge of his lips, the hickeys blooming nebulously on his skin and wondered if he could ever go casual again.

They showered together too. Corpse bent Sykkuno over the sink and ate him out. He knew his knees were going to kill him but it was a punishment worth the crime. The joy of teasing Sykkuno, taking him upto the heights of pleasure, pushing and prodding with his tongue at the tight little rim of muscle as Sykkuno whimpered his name was worth it. As he pressed his tongue against Sykkuno’s rim and Sykkuno let out an embarrassed moan, he knew he was in deep. He knew he had to remember these things- Sykkuno’s beautiful voice cracking over his name, the way his fawnlike eyes stared at Corpse needily, and the little sob he let out when he finally came were things worth dedicating brainspace to.

The actual shower was somehow more intimate, as they exchanged watery kisses just by the side of the stream. Sykkuno’s body was slotted against the corner, just out of the reach of the shower's spray and Corpse kissed him deeply, trying to push in as many things he couldn't say, tried to pass all the emotion he felt into the kiss. Was he actually growing feelings, he wondered, as Sykkuno's soft hands trailed soap suds on his abs, or was it that Sykkuno was just _there,_ and Corpse was mistaking the presence of human company as affection, as love-

Sykkuno’s hair was damp and curling slightly around the edges when he did finally pull on his shirt and stood by the door, tapping his foot nervously. It reminded Corpse of old timey movies where a 50s husband would leave for work and his wife would kiss him at the door. Sykkuno was in no way his wife or his spouse, and nor was he a weepy woman from the 50s but when he stared up at Corpse with his soft little smile and those clever eyes, Corpse knew he had to do damage control, bring order back to the status quo.

Sykkuno’s eyelashes fluttered as he approached and Corpse dodged the obvious invitation to kiss him to awkwardly drag him into a bro hug. It was nothing like the embraces they shared in bed, the long lines of Sykkuno’s body pressing against Corpse’s. It was awkward and stilted and Corpse hated himself as soon as he saw the shutters behind Sykkuno’s eyes pull themselves shut, his smile turning practised and wan.

“I’ll see you again soon?” Corpse asked hopefully. It came out in his customer service voice. Sykkuno nodded.

“You’ll see me again in a few hours anyway, Rae has a lobby set up” he said, and it sounded like he was using his customer service voice too. Corpse wanted to shake him, take him back to twenty minutes ago when he was flayed open and vulnerable for Corpse, his pretty eyes full of light and love as opposed to the practised sweetness that was dripping off his voice, vapid and shallow. It didn’t suit Sykkuno and Corpse shook his head, trying to get away from how cloying it was.

“I’ll text you when I reach” he said. Sykkuno nodded, but his expression suggested that he didn’t expect it from Corpse. He turned around briefly to walk towards the elevator but realised he probably had forgotten something back at the house, a ring or something.

“Oh- Sykkuno.”

Sykkuno turned. The suddenness hadn’t given him time to prepare his mask and his face was nakedly wanting, hopeful at the sound of Corpse calling out his name. They stared at each other and Corpse watched despondently as the mask settled in on Sykkuno’s pretty face, turning it to wax.

“Did you want something?”

 _You._ Corpse swallowed. “No. I think I’m good.”

●●●

☠

_> do u actually think the tattoos look like cabbages_

🌿

_:3 <  
yep < _

☠

_> fuck  
> I cant see them as roses anymore_

🌿

_my words live in ur head rent free <_

☠

_> ~~you live in my head rent free~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> im just a lowly simp 4 u Sykkuno_

🌿

_:D <_  
_Trains is a good song <  
I like the bridge <_

☠

_> the bridge is so sexy  
> “_ _When I hear the engine pass, I'm kissing you wide”  
> “the hissing subsides, I'm in luck” _

🌿

_ur sexy <  
“when the evening reaches here you're tying me up” <_

☠

_> ;) _

🌿

_~~“im dying of love, it’s okay”~~ _ _[MESSAGE DELETED] <  
o oh < _

☠

_> :3  
> glad u liked it _

●●●

Inevitability was a reality of statistics.

☠

_I think we should stop this._

🌿

_Call me. <_

Sykkuno’s chest ached.

“I didn’t expect you to break up with me over _text_ ” he said and he hated how painfully small his voice came out. _I didn’t expect you to break up with me at all._

“It’s not a traditional breakup though, is it?” Corpse at least had the decency to sound guilty, but his voice was composed and light. “I thought this way it would be easier.”

“What do you mean by a traditional breakup?”

“You know” Corpse said, and his voice was so relaxed and airy that Sykkuno wanted to crawl under a rock and die, choke on this hairball of emotion that was building up in him. “A traditional relationship. A traditional breakup.”

“This- what was this to you, Corpse?”

He could feel the panic and embarrassment settle in his lungs like powder, and he wanted to scream with it, _how had he not realised-_

“Sykkuno- c’mon don’t be like that.” His voice was beautiful, patient, as if Sykkuno was being unreasonable and Sykkuno felt himself shrivel. “It was good right? I think this is a good place for this to stop.”

“Was this nothing to you then?”

“The hell do you mean by _nothing_ , of course it was nothing Sykkuno” said Corpse and a sharp burst of laughter escaped him, as if Sykkuno was being particularly dense. His silence seemed to enrage Corpse further. “What, you’ve never had someone just want you for your body? Weren’t you the one who was into me just physically?”

There was something in statistics called false causality. In the case of a correlation between two variables, there were 6 variables, 5 of which were faithful in the relationship between the two variables. The sixth one was the possibility that correlation did not equate causation. 5/6 was a good chance of probability but Sykkuno was never good with gambling anyway. A choked sound escaped him.

“That was harsh” whispered Corpse, and he sounded horrified. It didn’t matter, he could deal with his guilt himself, Sykkuno was struggling to breathe. “I’m sorry- Sykkuno-“

 _Don’t say my name like that._ “It’s okay” he said and his voice sounded shrill, too positive. “You’re- you’re right Corpse, I’ll figure it out, don’t you worry.”

“We’ll still be friends” said Corpse soothingly, as if Sykkuno was supposed to ever listen to his voice and think about how the universe denied him 5 different outcomes for a happy ending and chose the sixth one where their paths crossed purely by chance with no cause.

“Friends” said Sykkuno. He had those; Lily, Rae, Toast. And now Corpse. “That’s good.”

“Yeah” said Corpse and he sounded relieved. “Best friends.” As if he expected Sykkuno to be difficult. _Maybe I should be_ he thought numbly _maybe I should tell him that it wasn’t just something physical._

But what came out of his mouth stupidly was “It- it was good yeah?”

Corpse exhaled. “Yes. Of course Sykkuno. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

 _Beep_. He couldn’t hear any more of it.

He laughed brokenly, and let the phone drop from his hand. He heard Corpse saying his name, he heard the hard sound of his phone, metal and glass hitting against the wooden floor boards. The phone beeped and he crumpled to his knees. Something was bubbling in his chest, not a scream, not a sob. Nothing had felt like this, he had lived almost his entire life without Corpse or his touch but suddenly he felt like he was a fish out of water, struggling to breathe. His fingers found themselves in his hair as he lay on the couch and froze. It still smelled of Corpse and embedded between the two cushions was a thin silver ring.

He buried his face in the smell, bergamot and pain; the ring sliding over his shaking finger. His hands slid into his own hair, a mockery of when Corpse’s veiny hands did it and he sobbed into the pillow, loud wails escaping him. The ring was cold on his finger, not warmed by Corpse’s body. He could hear the phone ringing, he could hear Corpse laughing, he could hear the girl from his high school laughing; all mocking and he screamed in agony into the pillow.

●●●

☠

_> setting up a lobby at 2 today, u in?_

🌿

_sure :) <_

☠

_> u ok?  
> everything ok between us?_

🌿

_always :) <  
best friends, yea? <_

☠

_> ~~I love you~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> best friends :)_

●●●

Corpse wondered if Sykkuno had ever considered acting, because he was well and truly impressed by the perfectly pleasant façade he had put up only hours after. If he wasn’t on the call, if he hadn’t heard Sykkuno’s horribly small voice he’d not have believed that Sykkuno was struggling at all.

Strangely, his obsession with piecing together Sykkuno still lingered as he held the memory of Sykkuno’s broken choked out sob in his heart, painful and like a shard of glass. It was essential, it was important to him; no one else had heard Sykkuno make a sound like he had been hollowed from inside out, he couldn’t neglect to curate such a memory. He stared at Sykkuno, quiet and beautiful, unknowingly leaving behind a trail of broken hearts for his pretty smile and marvelled in disgust at his own perfect crime. 

His eyes were soft and slightly red rimmed but he brushed that away by claiming he was up late at night, gaming. It wasn’t even a lie, he _was_ gaming, it was just that he was up even later talking to Corpse about an Attenborough documentary about Baltic amber. His voice was calm and soothing and yet it grated strangely on Corpse’s conscience.

“…you were in medbay, Corpse?”

He knew Rae would have questions, he knew Emma and Loey would look at him with pity in their eyes as he spiralled, he knew that Sykkuno’s voice would always shiver on his name. When they played Rust and Corpse put his bed next to his, he knew he sounded bitter and jilted, and he couldn’t stand to see the hurt confusion in Sykkuno’s eyes. Games and gameplay let him simp, let him be lost for Sykkuno, call for Sykkuno, wish Sykkuno was closer and he knew he’d have to settle for it.

Corpse shook his head. “Rae. Sorry. I don’t know, I’ve been zoned out this whole round.”

“He was” confirmed Sykkuno, and his voice trembled slightly. Corpse wanted to drag him into his lap, stroke his angled shoulderblades and maybe have Sykkuno fall asleep on him like that-

“-Sykkuno could be simping for Corpse” said Poki suspiciously. “We don’t know if he’s simping.”

Sykkuno just let out a tired laugh and muted himself again. The votes went into a tie for him and skip. Corpse cleared his throat.

“Hey, thanks man.”

Sykkuno’s voice was soft, open. “Anytime, Corpse.”

●●●

☠

_> how’s it going?_

🌿

_playin some Rust :) <  
u?? <_

☠

_> nothing  
> disassociating  
> ~~I miss you~~ [MESSAGE DELETED]  
> what are you typing_

🌿

_idk <  
what did u delete <_

☠

_> idk either_

●●●

It was Lily who suspected something was up, Rae who pressurised them to meet and Toast who Sykkuno wanted to talk to the most.

He was lying on the floor mattress, his head in Lily’s lap. Her soft fingers carded through his hair, so unlike Corpse’s strong stocky ones that would occasionally tug on his hair, making Sykkuno arch his neck so that he could press kisses-

“We could always taze Corpse” offered Michael. He was sitting opposite them on the chair, spinning in it slowly. “Get that fucker squirming.”

“I’m sure Sykkuno got him squirming without electricity” retorted Rae and Sykkuno let out a tired snort. She was force feeding Sykkuno caramel popcorn with chopsticks but she was eating most of it, and Sykkuno didn’t even mind. It felt nice to be between his friends, it felt nice to have Lily and Rae fussing over him, it felt nice to have Michael being overprotective. Toast was studying them silently, his clever eyes faraway. He wondered how easy it would’ve been to fall in love with them.

Sykkuno turned his head in Lily’s lap and stared up at her as she and Michael giggled about tazing Corpse. He could never have fallen in love with Lily, Lily was and would always remain a source of inspiration to him, a mentor, a guide. Being able to call her his friend was a privilege that Sykkuno barely conceptualised, let alone dating her. Besides, he thought, they were too similar. He watched from below, a silent spectator as her eyes lit up behind her round glasses. Two different magnets but with the same pole. North and north would never align.

Rae always reminded him of his sisters, he thought, as her eyes met his guiltily, stuffing her face with his popcorn. Loud, clever, brash. Harsh towards Sykkuno in the public eye, soft in the quietest hours of the night. Dependent on him too, in the strangest ways. When Sonii and she broke up, it was Sykkuno who held her as she sobbed, her huge dark eyes welling with tears as she clutched at him. That night had ended with them snuggled under a blanket as they watched Mulan and her head dropped to his shoulder. A soft kiss pressed to his cheek and she quietly whispered “thanks _ading_ ", he knew that he’d treasure her for life as his sister.

Strangely continuing down his own train of thoughts, Sykkuno wondered what it would be like to fall in love with Toast. He’d been tagged in enough fancams to know Toast was attractive, with his clever intense eyes and his bright smile lighting up the flat planes of his face.

“Toast” he asked vaguely as Toast turned around to face him. “Would you ever have fallen for me?”

The fingers in his hair stilled as Rae and Lily ooh’d and Michael went “Christ” quietly in his seat. Sykkuno didn’t care, he stared up at Toast from Lily’s lap, openly curious.

Vitriol was always Toast’s natural response to any question and so Sykkuno braced himself for a sharp, stinging answer but all he got is an amused laugh. “You little shit, don’t you know we’re all in love with you?”

“I mean” he started and he got cut off as Toast sat on the edge of his bed. His face is so familiar, so beloved to Sykkuno; so unlike Corpse’s gaunt face with his hazel eyes lighting up his face-

“It would’ve been so easy to fall in love with you, huh” said Toast conversationally, as if remarking that there was a good chance it would rain. “Wish it worked that way though. Pretty as you are, you’re not a woman and I’m kind of not into men.”

Simple. Clear. To the point. Sykkuno appreciated that about Toast. He leaned into Lily’s touch, like he’d seen Temmie do in the past. “Wish I was into women.”

Michael snorted. “A fuckbuddies relationship doesn’t get easier just because you’d have called her mommy instead of daddy.”

Sykkuno flushed, throwing a pillow at him as Rae cackled, caramel stains on her teeth. “I did _not_ call Corpse daddy.”

“Oh _he_ called you daddy?”

Toast was laughing and Sykkuno stared at his face, smiling too. _It would’ve been just as easy to fall in love with you, Toast_ he thought quietly. He stared around at his friends, laughing and supporting him. Toast had wrangled the chopsticks from Rae and was feeding Sykkuno the popcorn himself, while Rae gorged unapologetically on it. Lily’s soft fingers returned, carding through his hair softly. It was beautiful, a perfect moment in time and Sykkuno hated himself for yearning for a 5th voice, as low as thunder and yet as warm as summer rain accompanying them.

●●●

🌿

_do tattoos hurt a lot? <_

☠

_> depends on where  
> and your general pain tolerance  
> are you getting any?_

🌿

_considering it <_

☠

_> that’s sexy AF  
> im already simping for you_

🌿

_im also simping for you <_

☠

_> jokes on u I never stopped simping for you_

🌿

_me neither <_

●●●

“ _What’s up, it’s Sykkuno! Leave a message after the beep!”_

“I miss you.”

Sykkuno was at the OTV house from what he last knew, Lily had put up a story of them eating sushi together. He cut the line after that, he had said enough and he buried his head in his hands. Painkillers turned his numb fingers staticy and electrical and he wanted to drag them over Sykkuno’s soft warm skin. The last of the hickeys Sykkuno had left on him was fading away, but everything else was the same. The roses still looked like cabbages to him.

The phone started ringing.

“Corpse.” Sykkuno’s voice was defeated, small.

Corpse laughed. It was a broken wheeze, like glass had pierced his airways, the phantom sensation of blood slipping through his oesophagus. “Sy-”

“I miss you too.” The words left Sykkuno’s mouth as if he’d been holding it in for years and Corpse thought about him in the kitchen butchering onions; the morning sun turning him ethereal. Dark eyes turned the colour of honey, potently sweet.

Corpse closed his eyes. “Say it again.”

“I miss you” said Sykkuno, softly. It fell like rain on his parched heart, soaking it up too quickly. Almost as if he knew, Sykkuno continued. “I miss you so damn much, Corpse.”

Corpse laughed at the swear. It felt less like sandpaper on his larynx. “Where are you?”

Sykkuno let out a defeated laugh. “I’m outside my grandmother’s house. I’m playing with Bimbus. Come see me.”

“Can I” stared Corpse, and he choked on his words. Why would Sykkuno let Corpse into his grandmother’s house to see his dog, when Corpse had broken his heart, not communicated clearly, was not even worth a single tear clinging to Sykkuno’s long lashes. He powered through when Sykkuno made a soft inquisitive sound. “Can I meet Bimbus?”

Sykkuno laughed, surprised. It was such a wonderful sound, Corpse leaned back into his chair basking in it. “Yeah Corpse, of course.”

Popping an antiallergant into his mouth (just incase Bimbus triggered anything in him), Corpse sat in the car as he drove up to Sykkuno’s grandmothers house. His family seemed to live in the more forested part of LA, the streetlights becoming fewer, the roads narrowing. The properties here were spaced out, single bungalows set in large compounds of land. The GPS flickered in and out of range due to the forest cover.

Sykkuno was standing by a wooden fence, his arms full of a white cloud of a dog panting happily. Corpse leaned over to unlock the passenger’s seat and Sykkuno slid right in. Bimbus seemed to immediately approve, standing with his little feet perched on Corpse’s shoulders. Startled and endeared, Corpse laughed as he sniffed Corpse’s mask, a tiny suspicious growl escaping his equally tiny body.

“Be nice Bimb” scolded Sykkuno, but his eyes were warm. He was wearing shorts and an old white shirt, stretched tight across his finely angled shoulders. His eyes met Corpse’s and he looked away, biting his lip. Corpse leaned over to brush his thumb over it, pushing it out from under his teeth.

Bimbus hopped off his lap to go explore the backseat. It was just Sykkuno and Corpse now, with Corpse leaning over the gear shift with his hand on Sykkuno’s face. Sykkuno’s doe eyes met his, teeming with something and he leaned into Corpse’s palm.

“I missed you” said Corpse quietly.

The dam broke; Sykkuno let out a soft, heartbreaking sound that caused Bimbus to whine in response and Sykkuno clamboured over the seats to sit on Corpse’s lap. Corpse fumbled with the little switch under the side of the his seat and pushed the chair back so that Sykkuno wouldn’t hurt himself on the steering wheel and clutched Sykkuno close, his arms wrapping around his narrow waist as he felt something damp on his shoulder. Sykkuno’s back heaved as he sobbed, plaintive little sobs escaping him as he pressed kisses to Corpse’s shoulders. His fingers reached out to cup Corpse’s face, mask and all and Corpse vaguely realised he couldn’t see that well either because his own eyes were watering.

“I missed you too” he sniffled. His doe eyes welled with more tears, his nose pink and he’d never looked more beautiful. “Does it matter if I do, though?”

Corpse brushed his tears away, kissing his forehead. He felt so unbelievably good on Corpse’s lap, warm and heavy on his aching joints. “I- you deserve more, Sykkuno.”

He saw the blinds in Sykkuno’s eyes shuttering as he started to move away, pull back from Corpse and Corpse hastened. “I mean- Sykkuno, listen to me. I’m all kinds of fucked up, I can’t promise you anything ever. I can’t even promise you that I’ll be a good boyfriend-“

“-but you _were_ a good boyfriend” said Sykkuno quietly. His hands pressed against his Corpse’s chest, small and insistent. Corpse lifted one of them and pressed them to his lips. He noticed a thin silver ring on Sykkuno’s hand, slightly too big for him and smiled slightly before realising Sykkuno had said something.

“I wasn’t” said Corpse. “I was not your boyfriend- that’s- that’s not what boyfriends are like.”

Sykkuno winced. “I was in an online relationship and I think you were much better at being a boyfriend than I was.” Corpse opened his mouth, cringing, but Sykkuno cut him off. “Besides, unlike my ex, I was actually _happy_ in my relationship with you.”

Corpse raised an eyebrow. “Oh really. You wouldn’t want anything to change.”

Sykkuno lowered his eyes, contemplative. The streetlights turned the fans of his eyelashes into graceful arcs. “I- I would’ve liked some more physical touch I guess. Um. I _now_ know why you weren’t touching me- it wasn’t- supposed to be serious like that.”

Corpse kissed his knuckles again, pressing them to his lips. “I wanted to” he confessed quietly. He thought about Sykkuno in his bed, the imprint of his collar on his neck, pink and sweaty and smiling up at Corpse as he giggled about rose cabbages. “I still want to.”

Sykkuno’s smile lit up his face. “Yeah?”

“Of course” mumbled Corpse. “I- I pulled away because I was scared. I- I fucking don’t know how much time I’ve got. For anything, really. My medical history is a fucking mess, my career is relevant now but I don’t know how much longer I have it for. You’re- don’t you have a degree? You have a degree, you’re healthy, you’re killing it where you are- being with me will jeopardise all of it.”

“Why would it?” countered Sykkuno calmly. “I don’t know how much time I have either, I’m in the middle of Vegas with barely anyone I know over there, I could get run over, shanked or just die in a freak accident. My career isn’t something I am permanently seeing either, we’re all passing phases on the internet.”

Corpse looked away from his clever eyes. “I’m still fucking paranoid.”

Sykkuno looked wounded. “Then why did you call me?”

Corpse exhaled. In the rearview window he saw Bimbus stretch before flopping onto his side sleepily. “Because I’m trying to be less paranoid.” He kissed his palm again. “For me. I’m fucking selfish about this. I heard you on Wendy’s podcast joking about how you and Peter were dating for 6 months and I wanted it more than anything else. Even though I can’t do most of what you said- I can’t take you out on um, movie dates, or dinner dates or anything of that sort- the most I can offer you is my apartment and your apartment and this car maybe. Or somewhere in the open. I can take you out on a drive maybe.”

Sykkuno looked amused, his thumb brushing the edge of his mask. “Why are you making it sound like this is terrible? I’m terribly shy myself. I like your apartment and my apartment and this car. I’m not looking to get… _woo’d_ , this isn’t- I like this.” His eyes were endlessly tender.

“I like you” said Corpse quietly. _I love you_.

Sykkuno shut his eyes, basking in it. “Say it again.”

Corpse pulled down his mask, his own hands reaching out to cradle the sharp arch of Sykkuno’s jaw. “I like you.”

When Sykkuno’s eyes flickered open, Corpse leaned in to kiss him. He had improved, Corpse noted proudly as Sykkuno moaned, letting Corpse push his tongue in. Sykkuno leaned down to fiddle with the levers on the side of the seat, pushing the chair back into a horizontal recline. Corpse let out a surprised huff as his axis of alignment shifted suddenly and Bimbus yipped in surprise at the seat suddenly going back. Sykkuno laughed into the kiss, their fingers knitting together.

“Mine” said Sykkuno quietly, almost to himself as he leaned away, resting his head on Corpse’s aching chest. He brought their hands to his pretty lips, pressing a soft kiss to their knuckles.

“Yeah” said Corpse, stupid and in love. “As long as you’ll have me, I guess.” _I don’t know how to feel without you._

Sykkuno hummed quietly. His hand reached out to pet Bimbus on his soft head and Corpse watched as Bimbus leaned into the touch, just like him. He pressed his cheek against Sykkuno’s soft hair, breathing in deeply. His fingers reached under Sykkuno’s shirt, feeling the smooth lines of his back and Sykkuno exhaled, before sitting up, grabbing his hand from under his shirt.

“I have something of yours” said Sykkuno, untwisting the ring from his finger. Corpse smiled at him.

“You can have it, it looks nice on you” he said, as Sykkuno lifted his hand, pushing it down onto his finger.

“It was too loose on me” said Sykkuno, “and it kept getting stuck in Bimbus’s fur.” He smiled up at him warmly. “Besides, I don’t need it anymore, I can just hold your hand if I want to feel the ring.”

Corpse felt himself blushing at how smooth that was and Sykkuno leaned back into his chest, one hand reaching up to drape over Corpse’s shoulder and the seat and Corpse’s hands found their way back under Sykkuno’s shirt.

“I thought Bimbus lived with your parents” mumbled Corpse into his hair. Bimbus opened one eye in his sleep at the sound of his name.

“Oh he does, my parents live about 20 minutes away from here” explained Sykkuno. He was playing with the rings on his hand, contemplative. He sounded sleepy and Corpse smiled into his hair, rubbing his palms in gentle circles over his spine. “I got him down here to play with him, plus he likes my grandma too.”

“I like him” said Corpse. Bimbus snuffed quietly and Corpse dragged his medicine numbed hands over Sykkuno’s warm skin. It felt surreally good to have casual intimacy, the warmth of Sykkuno’s body warming him over as Sykkuno dipped in and out of sleep on top of him.

Time felt slow and viscous. The night was punctured only by Bimbus, who made some tiny snuffles. Corpse closed his eyes, just on the brink of sleep but never tipping over. It was alright though, he mused in his state of limbo, and it was alright because Sykkuno’s lips were pressed up right by his neck, breathing softly. Sykkuno’s fingers were lax in his hand but they were _there_ and Corpse cherished it.

When he opened his eyes, the streetlights were off. It was the brink of dawn. He watched as light touched the mountains, turning the silvery leaves into shades of verdant and chartreuse, turning the sky from black to purple and orange. Sykkuno yawned by his neck and Corpse nuzzled his forehead softly. He blinked up at Corpse, sleepy and beautiful and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Still here?”

Corpse kissed his forehead, his voice teasing. “Where am I supposed to go with you sprawled over me like this?”

Sykkuno sat up, and Corpse relished in how pretty he looked, drowsy and happy. The zippers on Corpse’s shirt had left an imprint on his cheek and Corpse’s hands slid down to his waist. “I don’t know. Maybe I dreamt you up.”

Corpse leaned in to kiss him. “You should be dreaming of better things.”

“I’ll dream of whatever I want” whispered Sykkuno, narrowing his eyes. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Corpse smiled, biting his lip softly. Sykkuno moaned, warm and sweet into the air, his fingers sliding into Corpse’s hair, tugging him closer. Corpse’s palms settled on his hipbones and Sykkuno winced slightly. Curious, Corpse pulled back.

Sykkuno’s face was shy and Corpse curiously lifted his shirt slightly and froze. Right there on his hip was a tiny little tattoo, a twig of leaves. Right underneath the leaves, two flowers intersected each other, a peony and a-

“It’s a cabbage” said Sykkuno shyly. “I actually told them to make a cabbage and put a stem through it. Like yours!”

Corpse pushed him back against the steering wheel to stare at it. It was adorably simple design, the leaves coloured fully black and the flowers were just clean lineart. “It’s fucking sexy is what it is, holy shit Sykkuno.”

“I actually really liked getting it” said Sykkuno lightly, clearly appreciating the approval on Corpse’s face. “It was Rae’s idea to get a tattoo and I knew I couldn’t get one somewhere people could see on stream.”

Corpse pouted. “I’d pay to see you stream shirtless, Sy.”

Sykkuno swatted him gently as Corpse dragged his shirt back down, covering up his skin. Sykkuno leaned back in to rest his head against his chest. Corpse dragged patterns on his exposed thigh, hands sliding under the hem of his shorts, listening to Sykkuno hum contently.

An old woman tottered outside the house Sykkuno had come out of, and threw a handful of grains into the courtyard. Several birds swooped in shrieking happily, pecking at them. Sykkuno shuddered.

“One of our neighbours was once a farmer” said Sykkuno, eyeing the birds with distrust. “And they had a bunch of geese and I was walking with my grandmother while eating something and the goose chased me. I fell and got a scar here.” He lifted his knee, and Corpse laughed at the old scar, pressing a kiss to his temple. Another little tidbit of Sykkuno information. This one settled in his mind with the soft glow of an old photograph.

Sykkuno made a quiet grumbling sound, burying his face in Corpse’s chest. Corpse watched his grandmother patter around the garden slowly.

“Will she be mad?”

Sykkuno lifted his head. His cheeks were a soft dusty pink and Corpse kissed his nose, charmed. “About what?”

Corpse swallowed. “Us. This.”

Sykkuno considered it. “I mean- I’m pretty sure she would’ve preferred if you were a girl. An Asian girl at that, they’d all have been very happy if you were an Asian girl-“

“-sometimes I wish I was an Asian girl-“

“-Corpse!” laughed Sykkuno. “But I think they’d be happy that I’m happy. I hope. I think they’d be happy that I’m with someone I like and they'll probably ask me to bring you around for Lunar New Year and Thanksgiving. They don’t really care about that.”

Corpse laughed darkly. “My parents wouldn’t care either.”

Sykkuno pulled back smiling before realisation dawned on him, something in his eyes cracking when he saw Corpse’s face. “Corpse…” he said quietly.

Corpse snorted bitterly. “It’s kinda fucked up. But I’d rather have had them be raging homophobes. At least I’d know they cared, warped or not, I’d know that they gave a fuck about their son. Now it doesn’t fucking matter if I was literally into some of the wildest, most fucked up shit, they don’t give a fuck. I could be dead in a ditch and they’d not care.”

Sykkuno’s grandmother looked at the car for a few seconds and a grin lit up her wrinkled face as she tottered back in, unaware of the conversation in the car. Sykkuno looked devastated, upset. Corpse sighed, pulling him close.

“I didn’t want to upset you, I’m so-” he muttered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for” said Sykkuno fiercely. It was the sharpest Sykkuno had sounded. Corpse thought about his grandmother's smile when she saw Sykkuno in the car and instead of the usual jealousy and void he felt in such situations, he felt glad that Sykkuno was treasured in his family.“You didn’t deserve any of that, and you don’t- I don’t care if we’re together or not, I’m always going to care.”

Corpse almost laughed but Sykkuno’s eyes were firm and focused, his pretty features pinched with anger. He kissed the top of his head, tired.

“I’m- I’m glad you care, Sykkuno” he said cautiously. And it was true, seeing the anger in Sykkuno’s normally soft eyes warmed something in his heart. “I’m glad to have you here.”

Sykkuno slumped against the steering wheel. He still looked upset, his eyes far away and Corpse bundled him into his arms, holding him close, pushing his head to his chest. All the anger seemed to bleed out of Sykkuno as he sighed, wrapping his arms around Corpse’s neck. Corpse kissed the top of his head again.

“I love you” he blurted.

Sykkuno exhaled again. “I- I’m not good with that word, Corpse.”

Corpse held him closer, thinking about the frustration in his eyes, the soft sobs wracking his body when he entered the car a few hours ago, the naked adoration in his eyes everytime they kissed.

“You’re not good at _saying_ it” said Corpse quietly.

“Yeah” said Sykkuno and he sounded relieved that Corpse understood. “But I do too- I really do.”

There wasn’t much to say after that, Corpse pulled Sykkuno back into his arms and Sykkuno snuggled back in, his soft downy hair tickling Corpse’s cheek. The sun was warming more of the forest around them. Bimbus seemed to get antsy, pawing at Corpse’s arm. Sykkuno laughed, his long fingers scratching Bimbus’s ear.

“You should probably get going, huh” said Corpse, leaning his forehead against Sykkuno’s shoulder. Sykkuno’s fingers carded gently through his hair and Corpse leaned into it, his scalp tingling pleasantly. It had been years since anyone had done that and he nudged his hand into his palm.

“You’re just like Bimbus” said Sykkuno smiling. “Yeah I should probably get going. What time is it?”

“Just a bit before 7” said Corpse, looking at the dashboard. “Are you gonna be here long?”

“I’m probably gonna go back to Vegas tomorrow night” said Sykkuno quietly. The sunlight was still faint enough that it didn’t hurt Corpse’s eye and still turned Sykkuno’s skin gold and his eyes the colour of amber. “If you want- we could meet up at your apartment?”

Corpse nodded. “I could come get you” he offered, feeling brave.

Sykkuno narrowed his eyes playfully. “You just want to see Bimbus again, huh.”

Corpse shrugged. “Sucker for cute guys, what can I say.” It made Sykkuno laugh, one slender hand reaching up to cover his face.

Sykkuno got out of the car, and Bimbus took his place on Corpse’s lap, wagging his tail happily. Corpse kissed the top of his fluffy head too as Sykkuno smiled at them, eyes warm and delighted. Eventually Bimbus jumped into Sykkuno’s arms. Sykkuno’s eyes crinkled into a tiny smile as he hugged the dog close, burying his face in his white fluff before setting it down inside the gate and shutting it firmly.

Corpse’s joints ached- sitting in one place for a few hours in what was probably not the most ergonomic conditions really made his hipbones ache but he stumbled out of the car and grabbed the fence for support. Sykkuno steadied him, one hand gripping his firmly

“You didn’t have to get out” said Sykkuno softly, peeking up at him. He was leaning against the wooden fence that separated them. Behind him, the leaves of a large oak were turning red.

“I did” said Corpse gently. Now that he was outside the car, he could see that it was a beautiful place to live; the slopes of the mountains clearly visible, each peak turning gold with light. The garden was full of flowers and bushes, but Sykkuno looking rumpled and happy was definitely the better sight. “Because I had to do this.”

He leaned in and kissed Sykkuno squarely on the mouth, moving his hand to cup his face. It had been years since he had dropped anyone outside their house and kissed them at their front door, but he felt like he owed it to Sykkuno. Sykkuno gasped cutely before his arms came and settled down shyly on his hips, gripping him closers and Corpse pulled back. It wasn’t like the kisses they usually shared; passionate and feral, like they were about to rip each other’s clothes off but more tender and promising. When he pulled back, Sykkuno’s eyes were still shut but he was swaying slightly where he stood, his fists full of Corpse’s shirt.

“I think your grandmother is laughing at us” whispered Corpse. Sykkuno opened his eyes, smiling.

“I’m never gonna hear the end of this” he informed Corpse, sounding exasperated. Corpse glanced back at the house where Sykkuno’s grandmother was standing at the window, smiling. There were pink splotches on Sykkuno’s cheeks as he shyly reached out to hold Corpse’s hand. “Tomorrow, yeah?”

“Tomorrow” said Corpse, his own voice reverent, wondering. “And after that we’ll figure it out.”

When he sat back in the car and turned, Sykkuno was still standing in his garden smiling. The sunlight filtered through the boughs of the trees into various stripes of light and he was leaning on the fence watching Corpse. When Corpse waved at him, his smile widened as he waved back and as he drove away, he could still picture Sykkuno perfectly caught in time, eyes full of hope and love as the car drove away.

●●●

🌿

_I just got home <_

☠

_> :)  
> take a nap  
> u wanna play later today?  
> Rae made me set up a lobby_

🌿

_Ofc I’d want to play <  
esp if its ur lobby :D <  
see u there! give me a call if I don’t wake up LOL <_

☠

_> aight love you <3_

🌿

_:0 <  
me2 <_

●●●

“Sykkuno” said Corpse lightly and Sykkuno smiled, moving his little character upto Corpse’s. “Imagine- imagine you were in an anime.”

“Okay now what?” Sykkuno asked. Their little characters touched masks and Sykkuno struggled to keep his face straight, suddenly wishing his real face was as close to Corpse’s as their little alien beans faces were.

“Are you smiling?”

Unable to hold it back, Sykkuno smiled. “Of course, because you’re here.”

He ducked his head shyly. Corpse’s discord button popped up on the side of his screen.

☠

_> you cute fucker  
> I love you _

“Nowwww kiss” shouted Hafu in the background and Sykkuno laughed at how flustered Corpse sounded when he said “what?!” It was worth getting killed immediately after. He hovered over Corpse’s bean, in his ghost form, something warm swelling in him. Before he could lose the feeling to anxiety, he pulled up his Discord again.

🌿

_< 3 u <_

He pulled up the game again, watching the meeting. Rae was still giggling and he could see his own cheeks flushing slightly as he thanked subs in the corner, reading chat. His smile widened mysteriously when Corpse’s discord notification popped back up again. __  
  


☠

_> :)_

🌿

_:) <_

●●●

Sykkuno was a terrible chef, but he looked very cute in an apron.

Corpse hooked his chin over Sykkuno’s narrow shoulder as Sykkuno awkwardly punched the dough into a ball. He tried not to laugh, but Sykkuno glowered at him over his shoulder which made him wheeze.

“It looks really good, babe” he tried, but his voice cracked on a laugh. “Now you cover it and let it be for a while.”

“It’ll turn out fine” whined Sykkuno as Corpse passed him the saranwrap. Sykkuno’s face was covered in tiny smidgens of flour. Sykkuno twisted in his arms, pressing his flour covered fingers against his shirt.

“How long do we have to wait?”

“About an hour?” Corpse said, peering at the dough nervously. “It’s probably not going to rise much, I don’t think there’s enough water in it.”

Sykkuno didn’t seem to care, draping his arms over Corpse’s shoulders. He walked them back into the kitchen chair, perching on Corpse’s lap.

“What do you think we could do in an hour?” he asked, innocently as he kissed Corpse’s jaw. Corpse shivered, settling his fingers on Sykkuno’s waist.

“I dunno, you seem to have ideas” said Corpse amusedly. It didn’t take much for Sykkuno to get turned on, pressing himself up against Corpse, big eyed and coquettish. “ _I_ would’ve wanted to go maybe clear up this mess we’ve made.”

“Or we could make an even bigger mess” suggested Sykkuno, blinking up at him innocently. It worked, Corpse felt himself getting harder as his fingers settled on Sykkuno’s back leaning in to kiss him. Right off the bat, Sykkuno’s fingers curled into the nape of his neck, pulling him in closer. When he pulled away, his eyes were dark and hazy and Corpse groaned as his lips pressed against his throat, pressing soft kisses.

“What do you want?” Sykkuno murmured. His voice was soft and seductive, his teeth gently scraping over the skin of his throat.

“Whatever you want” mumbled Corpse, dazed as Sykkuno continued his line of biting kisses. It felt far too good, Sykkuno’s teeth pressing over his skin.

“I want you to tell me what you want.” The smug little smile was present in Sykkuno’s voice, and Sykkuno’s fingers tightened gently in Corpse’s hair.

They’d been taking it slow- well, Corpse had been taking it slow, trying to cherish Sykkuno as much as he could. Their first time still haunted him, Sykkuno’s tiny voice asking them if they were going too fast. Having Sykkuno close and beautiful still got him feeling 5 different kinds of horny but he was preoccupied with treasuring every little moment he had with Sykkuno.

Apparently Sykkuno was determined to put an end to that. His hands slipped under Corpse’s shirt, blunt fingernails catching on his skin as he yanked the shirt over Corpse’s head. Corpse groaned, tugging him in close, kissing him deeply. Sykkuno’s delicate hands pressed on his skin, warm and powdery with flour and Corpse shuddered at the touch, pulling away.

“You’re” said Corpse and he stumbled over the words and felt himself getting flustered. It was _easy_ when he had to pretend Sykkuno was nothing more than a fuckbuddy. Now he knew what Sykkuno looked like, curled up in his arms fast asleep; he knew what Sykkuno looked like when he was on call with his grandmother; he could look at Sykkuno’s lips and kiss them anytime he wanted just because he wanted to. The fear of saying something wrong or doing something wrong was now ten times worse, and he swallowed heavily.

Sykkuno hummed quietly. “I am.” His long fingers grazed the sides of his obliques, tracing the vines there.

Corpse exhaled shakily, fiddling with the string of Sykkuno’s apron. “Ma-maybe we should take this to the bedroom?” The bedroom would be more comfortable, he rationalised, a good place for him to press Sykkuno gently into the covers and kiss the pretty cords of his muscles and make him feel good.

Sykkuno tilted his head. “Is there a problem here?”

Corpse groaned, tilting his head back. Sykkuno took that as an invitation to press his lips back onto Corpse’s neck. His fingers slid down into the waistband of Corpse’s pants, fingers pressing up against the skin of his hipbones. His dark eyes glittered provocatively.

“No- there’s no problem-“

“Good” said Sykkuno lightly, and his fingers traced the bulge that had formed in his pants before settling on the elastic and pulling it down. Corpse shivered, leaning in to nuzzle the line of Sykkuno’s jaw. He didn’t know why he felt so shivery and nervous, like he was the virgin and not Sykkuno. Sykkuno was in no means acting in a way that was enabling to have sensible thoughts, with his pretty eyes flashing with mischief. There was definitely also a very large part of him severely affected by Sykkuno calling him good, and he nodded dumbly.

Sykkuno’s eyes softened. “You want to be good?”

Corpse felt all the blood in his body rush in opposite directions, towards his dick and his face and he leaned forward to hide his face on Sykkuno’s shoulder. Sykkuno hummed softly, carding his fingers through Corpse’s hair and Corpse shuddered, clutching Sykkuno close. His hands slid under the stupid apron, underneath the shirt, right onto Sykkuno’s soft skin. Sykkuno didn’t let him bask in the comfort for too long, pulling away far too quickly. Before Corpse could complain, or even look mortified, Sykkuno slid off his lap-

-onto his knees, big soft eyes fluttering prettily. Corpse groaned at the sight. Sykkuno had given him blowjobs before, but never like _this_ , on his knees with his hands folded over his knees neatly. Corpse readjusted himself in the seat, already missing the warmth of Sykkuno on his lap but Sykkuno sat up on his knees and, _holy shit_ , pressed his face against the bulge of his pants lovingly.

He almost came at the sight of it, Sykkuno in the ridiculous apron, cheeks smudged with flour and his eyes shut blissfully as he nuzzled the worn black fabric of Corpse’s boxers. Sykkuno pressed a tender, fleeting kiss to the top of his cock and Corpse tightened his fingers on the wood backing of his chair.

“Sykkuno” he moaned, and Sykkuno lazily opened his eyes. Corpse was kind of pleased to see that Sykkuno wasn’t as aloof as he was trying to come off, his cheeks were just as darkly flushed as Corpse felt his were and his fingers when they pressed between Corpse’s thighs to push them apart were trembling.

“Be good for me, yeah, Corpse?”

Corpse couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Sykkuno’s pretty lashes were pressed against his cheekbones, soft pink lips wrapped around the head of his cock. He gripped the chair tighter, not wanting to thrust up into Sykkuno’s mouth and disturb his flow. He seemed to be exploring, thought Corpse, his mind running in overdrive as Sykkuno’s clever tongue dragged up the side of his cock. Corpse looked down at him, the thin cord of the apron hanging off his pale neck, his hollow cheekbones even more pronounced as he sucked softly bobbing his head. His soft dark hair brushed against the insides of Corpse’s thighs, obscene little slurping sounds escaping him and Corpse tentatively let go of the chair to touch his face. Sykkuno leaned into it, eyes dark and hypnotic as he pulled off his cock. Corpse moaned as he shut his eyes to lick the head of his cock, pink lips swollen and shiny with spit.

“You want me to keep going?”

“What about-” stammered Corpse. “I want-“

Sykkuno tilted his head amusedly. It was the hottest thing Corpse had ever seen, his face flushed and bit down on his swollen lower lip. “Sex.”

Corpse felt himself blush immediately, as if he was the one who was never swore or toed the line of inappropriacy. “Yeah that.”

Sykkuno crawled back up onto his lap, and Corpse’s fingers went back under his shirt. Sykkuno leaned back to pull the apron and his shirt off and Corpse immediately hooked the thin string of his apron back on his neck. Sykkuno’s eyes brightened.

“Oh I knew you liked it” he said affectionately. There were still smudges of flour on his cheekbones and Corpse had never felt more in love. Sykkuno’s fingers dove into the apron’s pocket and pulled out lube, wiggling it in his hand.

Corpse laughed. “Oh, so you were prepared?”

“A good chef is always prepared” said Sykkuno seriously, but his eyes glittered with mirth as he sat up on the table. “I learnt that from Ratatouille.”

Corpse pushed his hands into Sykkuno’s sweatpants and pulled them down. Sykkuno leaned back on his elbows, his hair messy and his eyes dark as Corpse scooched the chair closer to the table, biting his thigh. Sykkuno whimpered, and Corpse pushed his thighs up to rest on his shoulders, effectively smushing his face between Sykkuno’s pretty legs. Sykkuno giggled at that, suddenly back to being a blushing virgin as opposed to the dark eyed minx slurping obscenely at Corpse’s cock.

Sykkuno’s fingers curled in Corpse’s hair, a low pretty moan leaving him as Corpse pressed his tongue flat against his rim. The lube tasted artificially sweet but Sykkuno’s moans were more than worth the strange sweetness. His pretty thighs trembled around Corpse’s head, Sykkuno whimpering at the scrape of Corpse’s teeth against the sensitive skin. When Corpse pulled back to push his fingers in, scissoring him open, Sykkuno’s face was dark red. The freckles on his face were prominent due to the influx of blood and his eyes were damp.

“You want it?” Corpse asked, pushing the third finger in. Sykkuno sat up, pressing his palms against the table and moaned, trying to grind down on his fingers. His lithe body moved in choppy stilted motions but Corpse groaned, trying to press the little lump inside him on every other turn. His cock was leaking precum on his belly. Corpse pulled his fingers out, about to stand up when Sykkuno hopped off the table, almost entirely naked save for the apron.

“Sykkuno” groaned Corpse as Sykkuno absent mindedly licked his lips, looking at his cock. Sykkuno’s face was lewdly curious.

“Still being good for me, yeah Corpse?” he asked slowly and-

-Corpse felt the sound emerge from his chest as Sykkuno draped his arms around his shoulders and lowered himself onto his cock. Sykkuno whimpered at the sound of it, his neck arching and Corpse leaned ahead to kiss it as Sykkuno cried out, rocking slightly on Corpse’s cock.

“Are you okay?”

Sweat dampened lashes squeezed together, his mouth slightly open with pleasure. “So full. It feels so good.” His eyes suddenly opened, clear and drunk on pleasure. “ _You_ feel so good.”

His slender ankles pressed up right behind Corpse’s own feet on the chair’s footrest as he rocked backwards and forwards, tiny _eh_ sounds escaping him and Corpse couldn’t focus on anything, his mind blissfully empty apart from the addicting sensation of Sykkuno pressed up against him, around him, in his apartment, in his life. His fingers gripped Sykkuno’s hips as he gracefully pistoned himself, his lower lip caught between his teeth. This close he could count the individual lines of Sykkuno’s eyelashes, map out the constellations made by his freckles.

He pushed up slowly, and Sykkuno keened, babbling, “so good- _so good_ ” and Corpse felt his mind white out, pleasure clouding his senses. Sykkuno was arching into him, rubbing his cock on Corpse’s abdomen, trying to get friction. Corpse leaned forward, giving him a better angle. Sykkuno sobbed, no longer moving up and down but grinding needily against Corpse’s cock. Corpse exhaled and grabbed him by the hips and pushed him up against the table.

“Oh you’re- really strong” said Sykkuno and he bit his lip, fluttering his eyelashes at Corpse.

“Just trying to be good for you, babe” murmured Corpse and leaned down to kiss him hard. Sykkuno let out a punched out cry as he pushed back in. His lips were slack and his eyes unfocused as he crossed his ankles over Corpse’s back as Corpse fucked into him. Corpse stared down at his face, his soft features twisted in pleasure and he leaned in to kiss Sykkuno’s neck.

Sykkuno whined, trying to squirm away. “Stream” he choked, but he mewled when Corpse’s teeth pressed over his pulse point.

“Oh, alright” said Corpse conversationally, and he reached out with his hand to press on Sykkuno’s delicate throat. Sykkuno’s features slacked with pleasure as Corpse squeezed gently, his eyes huge and desperate. When he let go, Sykkuno’s moan was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard, loud and whiny and his arms and legs curled up over Corpse, spasming as he came, clenching erratically around Corpse as he looked up at him with wild, tear stained eyes. He pushed himself in deep, a low sound bursting out of him that made Sykkuno whine.

Sykkuno leaned up to kiss his forehead lovingly. “That was nice, you were very good.”

Corpse groaned, flushing. “Don’t say that now, I’m too tired to keep going.”

Sykkuno giggled, reaching up to pull off the apron and Corpse stared longingly at the exposed lines of his shoulders, the dips of his clavicles and Sykkuno shivered when he felt Corpse’s cock twitch inside him. His face twisted with distaste when Corpse leaned over to grab a kitchen towel.

“I can never use that ever again” he said but a soft broken sigh left him when Corpse pulled out. Corpse pulled back to look and Sykkuno nudged him with his knee.

“Why do you always look” he grumbled, reaching up to cover his face. Corpse laughed at the duality of him kissing the offending knee.

“Because it looks hot” said Corpse lightly, and he touched the puffy rim of it. Sykkuno bit his lip, his pupils dilating. He watched as Sykkuno clenched himself, eyes fluttering shut before shaking his head.

“I should get into the shower” mumbled Sykkuno. He yawned, soft and catlike before hopping off the kitchen table, hobbling awkwardly. Corpse stared at the smooth line of his back, leaning over to kiss his shoulder. “Is our dough ready?”

Corpse glanced dubiously at their rock of a dough ball. “I don’t think that’s ever going to rise, there isn’t enough water in it at all babe.”

Sykkuno peeked back at him, eyes bright. He pressed his small hands to Corpse’s bare shoulders, his forearms flush against Corpse’s torso. “Takeaway and a shower?”

Corpse grabbed him by the waist, and Sykkuno giggled as they duckwalked to the bathroom. An hour and several tacos later, Sykkuno was curled up into Corpse’s side, dedicatedly avoiding the screen as Corpse laughed at the bad SFX in the horror film.

“This part is funny, I promise” said Corpse, kissing the top of his fluffy damp hair. Sykkuno peeked up at him before shaking his head violently and burying his head into his chest. “They’ve rendered it so badly babe, no one can get scared of this.”

“I am scared!”

Corpse laughed quietly, clutching him closer. His fingers dragged slowly over Sykkuno’s back, individually tracking each bone. _C7, C8, T1, T2-_

He barely got to the base of Sykkuno’s spine when he realised Sykkuno was fast asleep, his breathing slow and measured and he smiled as he reduced the volume of the TV. On screen, a badly rendered ghoul tried to eat a man in a display of excellent 70’s SFX and Corpse closed his eyes, starting back over Sykkuno’s spine. Sykkuno snuggled closer, a soft sigh escaping him and Corpse held him closer, content in the moment. 

●●●

They were outside, on the roof of Sykkuno’s apartment. Light pollution meant that neither of them could see many stars, but the casinos lit up the dark cityscape as they both sat next to each other, their feet dangling over the edge.

“Would be cool if there was a massive power outage” said Corpse thoughtfully. The light from the streets lit up his sharp features. His left cheek had a tiny Hello Kitty bandaid Sykkuno stuck on him after he came with a worryingly fresh cut on his face. Sykkuno leaned in closer and Corpse wrapped his arm around him.

“Yeah?” Sykkuno asked, appreciating the warmth of his body. “You’ve ever gone stargazing?”

Corpse grinned at him, and Sykkuno smiled at the dimple lighting up his roguishly handsome face. “Yeah, I’ve seen your eyes a few times.”

Sykkuno blushed, scoffing as he turned his head away to stare at the yellow motifs of a casino nearby, lit up by neon lights. Corpse laughed, kissing his cheek and Sykkuno huffed again.

“Yeah I have” said Corpse lightly. Sykkuno peeked up at him. “Usually I’d go practise parkour in the night at parks and I’d spend my time looking at stars. Couldn’t see a lot of them anyway but it was nice knowing they were there.”

“I can see a lot more stars in my grandmothers place and parents place, yeah” said Sykkuno thoughtfully. “Less light pollution there.”

He thought of his grandmother laughing as he blushed furiously and tried to avoid her well meaning eyes and leaned in closer to Corpse. The lines of their thighs touched together and he kept his hand on Corpse’s thigh. Corpse was staring off into the distance, his eye unfocused and Sykkuno leaned his head onto his shoulder.

“This is nice” said Sykkuno softly. Corpse hummed quietly. “What are you thinking about?”

“Parkour” said Corpse absently. “I could’ve probably easily aced the distance between those two buildings.”

Sykkuno shivered, his grip tightening on Corpse’s thigh. The distance down below seemed daunting, terrifying and he scooched them back a little, away from the edge. Corpse laughed again.

“I’m not gonna do it, don’t worry” said Corpse affectionately. He pulled back away from Sykkuno and Sykkuno gazed up at his pretty eye. “Close your eyes, yeah?”

Sykkuno looked doubtfully down at where their feet were hanging, hundreds of feet above the ground but Corpse’s eyes were bright and eager and he sighed, closing his eyes. Corpse held him closer, letting go of their hand to cover his eyes. Sykkuno shivered again but Corpse’s arm was tight around him.

“Imagine you’re me and you’re on top of a ledge” said Corpse quietly, right by his ear. Sykkuno tightened his fingers on his thigh. “It’s the middle of the night and no one is there and you can just…jump across the two buildings.”

“I can’t” said Sykkuno, pragmatically. Corpse kissed his ear softly.

“You _can_ ” said Corpse, and it sounded like he was smirking. Sykkuno shuddered, leaning into him. His lips brushed right over his ear. “Because if you don’t, you’ll die- but that doesn’t matter in that moment, because there really isn’t a difference between the two outcomes. Because no one fuckin cares, hm.”

Sykkuno opened his eyes (it didn’t help, Corpse’s hand was still over his eyes), about to tell Corpse off about playing with his life but Corpse kissed the skin right under his ear again, soft and lingering and he moaned, unable to stop himself.

“But you ace it” said Corpse, and his voice pitched with excitement. “You fucking cross the two buildings. You thought you’d die, but you didn’t. Isn’t that fucking brilliant? You surpassed yourself.”

“Corpse” whispered Sykkuno. Corpse’s hand fell off his eyes and Sykkuno blinked at him and his face was lit up with a sort of childish glee. “You could’ve died.”

“But I didn’t” said Corpse, extremely pleased with himself. “I fucking never die when I want to. I wanted to die if I didn’t make it, and guess what happened?” He waved his hand around, the city lights glinting off his rings. “I fucking made it.”

He was the most beautiful, insane thing Sykkuno had ever seen and it probably reflected in his face, his timid smile because Corpse wrapped him back in his arms.

“You don’t need to worry” said Corpse, and he was smiling. “I trained a lot before doing stunts like that. I was really into physical stuff, before my health fucked me up.”

Sykkuno thought about the determined glint in his eyes when he stumbled out of the car just to kiss Sykkuno. He didn’t know anything about chronic pain, except maybe his eczema in winter. “You’re still pretty strong, Corpse.”

Corpse touched his face with infinite tenderness, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone.

“You kind of make me feel like that” he admitted quietly. “I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing when I asked you if I was the guy you were into, I didn’t know what would happen if I sent you that voice note that I missed you. All I knew is I had to take that chance.”

“And you made it.”

Corpse’s dimple returned. “And I fuckin made it.”

Sykkuno leaned in to kiss him, wrapping his arms around him. He had no reference point for anything in Corpse’s life, he had no idea what to do with Corpse’s too earnest stories and his penchant for danger. But when Corpse kissed him, his hand sliding under his shirt to thumb over where Sykkuno’s new tattoo still tingled, Sykkuno thought he maybe understood what it felt like to look at the impossible distance between two buildings and want to jump across it. He thought about the girl from his high school, the string of people who broke his heart, the 28 lonely years without just simply being touched. Corpse pulled away, his eyes catching the flashy lights of the casinos. He was the most beautiful, most ridiculously insane thing Sykkuno had ever seen; a live wire of a man. And he was happy to sit next to Sykkuno and look up at the cityscape of Vegas, humming quietly. He thought of mysterious indie songs, simping in video games, kisses pressed in the dark of the night to his hands.

He smiled victoriously at the two buildings. It really wasn't that far, he considered, it was just the height that was scary. The distance was always the same, but the consequences differed. Corpse made a soft inquisitive sound but Sykkuno just leaned in closer. 

"Nothing" he said, smiling enigmatically. He leaned back on the ledge, and Corpse tucked him closer into his side and as Sykkuno leaned his head on his shoulder, warm and there, he thought smugly to himself that he too had _(fuckin)_ made it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudoses highly appreciated because I'm a deprived, sad college student with daddy issues 😔🤲


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